Even though he knew they were all on the same page, it was hard sometimes to work through the dynamics of their relationship. He’d needed to stake the claim he had on Josiah, on Mateo as well, and Mateo had needed the same. Tonight accomplished that.
Tristan ran a hand through Josiah’s hair, then down his back, only stopping when he touched Mateo. In sleep, the man thread his fingers through Tristan’s and held on as they both rested on the man who brought them together. He concentrated on the feel of Josiah against him and Mateo’s hand in his. The way it felt to hold them, and the anger that burned through him in the elevator today at work. The distance he kept between himself and everyone that Elliot kept trying to talk to him about. He was closed off out there...drifting. But with them, he felt...content. There was that word again.
So he continued to lie there and feel it, to experience it and live it, because it wasn’t something he truly let himself admit before. It wasn’t something he’d realized. Yes, he was happier than he’d ever been and he knew he loved them, but the storms inside him were at their most calm when he was with them. This new wall they’d knocked down tonight showed him that.
Tristan could tell when morning was close. And he wanted...what had Mateo told him once? That when something important happened to Josiah, he went somewhere important to him, where he had an emotional connection. And Tristan suddenly needed that, too.
He used his free hand and brushed the back of it over Josiah’s cheek. The rough hairs rubbed his skin, and Tristan did it again, wanting to feel him again.
“Josiah,” he whispered, and his lover opened his green eyes. “Feed the birds with me.” It wasn’t a question, but even if it had been, Josiah would never tell him no.
“Bossy,” he replied.
“So?” Tristan teased, pulling a smile from his lover.
“I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m in so much trouble with not one but two alpha men.”
Tristan laughed quietly at that. “You say that as though you don’t hold all the control. We both would do anything for you.”
“And for each other.”
“Yes, that, too.” With that Tristan leaned over Josiah, waking Mateo with the back of his hand on Mateo’s face, the same way he’d done with Josiah.
“Yeah?” Mateo didn’t open his eyes, voice rough with sleep, and for some reason, that one small thing slammed into Tristan’s chest.
Mateo was content as well. He was always so careful, always keeping an eye out for who was around them. Yet wrapped up in Josiah and himself, he felt secure.
“Feed the birds with us,” Tristan said simply, and with that, Mateo’s eyes fluttered open.
“Dios, what am I gonna do with the two of you, wakin’ my ass up so early every day?”
“Hey, at least you slept. I could have woken you both hours ago.”
“You didn’t sleep?” Josiah asked.
He didn’t answer that. “Shower with me and feed the birds with me. It’s not often I’m in this kind of mood. Take advantage.”
Josiah grinned, sitting up. “I think this is the first time you’ve been in this kind of mood. I like it, though.”
“Less talkin’, more movin’.” It was Mateo who stood first. He held a hand out to Tristan, who stared at it a second before grabbing hold. It was so simple, yet he wasn’t sure he’d ever had a lover help him to his feet before.
Once he stood, Mateo did the same for Josiah. They took a quick shower together. Luckily the one in their new apartment was as large as the one in the house had been.
Dressed, they made the short walk to the Wharf, following the path he could take in his sleep. By the time they made it to the water, the sun finally began to come out.
Josiah fed the birds, Mateo took a thousand pictures, making Tristan wonder how he could see so many different things. How there could be so much worthy of his camera out there; but the longer he walked, the more Tristan started to see it too.
It was chilly, and Josiah wore a sweatshirt, like he so often did. Tristan wrapped his arms around him from behind as Josiah tossed the last bit out for the birds.
“No one makes a hooded sweatshirt look sexy like you do. I don’t think I’ve worn one since I was ten, but you make me want to live inside it with you.” It wasn’t until the words left his mouth that Tristan realized he’d actually said them.
One, two... He shook his head and buried his face in Josiah’s neck from behind. Content. He was content with them. He didn’t have to worry about getting close. He kept trying to tell himself...it was okay to need.