“Will you go see him for me, Jay? Fuck, I don’t even know why I want that, but—”
“I would be honored to.”
Because Teo couldn’t. Even if he could, he wasn’t sure if he would. He wasn’t that strong, but Jay was. They each had their own strengths.
“Do I tell him who I am?”
His father had cut him when he found magazines with men in them. He’d beat him, and told him he wouldn’t have a fag for a son. He thought Mateo was weak. He’d hated everything about him...but then, Javier’s words bled in. How he wanted Javier to take care of Mateo and groom him, maybe in his own way that meant something.
“Yes. Don’t ever fuckin’ deny who you are to me to anyone. I’m proud to be yours.” He looked at Tristan. “Both of yours.”
Josiah nodded.
“You tell him who you are, you show him what the face of someone who loves me looks like. If he says one thing to you that I wouldn’t like, you walk out.”
“Okay.” Josiah stood, and then Tristan stood as well.
“I’m going to... There’s something I need to take care of.”
His past. Tristan didn’t have to say it for Mateo to know. Tristan hated this city. He had never wanted to step foot in it again, but he had for Mateo. Maybe they could both put their pasts to rest today.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Josiah
Josiah stood on the other side of clear glass as he waited for Mateo’s dad. Ricky Sanchez. The man who had been responsible for most of the pain in Mateo’s life.
Josiah couldn’t take his eyes off the man as he walked into the other room. As he sat in the chair on the other side of the glass from Josiah. In so many ways, he looked like Teo—dark eyes, skin and hair. Only his eyes didn’t hold the kindness that Mateo’s did. He didn’t have the gentle soul that Teo had.
“Who the fuck are you?” he asked.
“I’m the man who is in love with your son. I’m the man who wants nothing to do with you, who hates everything you stand for and what you did to him, yet I’m sitting in front of you for him. Because he needs me to be here, and I love him enough to do anything for him.”
There was a brief flash of anger in his eyes, but he quickly covered it up. “You think you know me? Everything I ever did was to protect Mateo. I did what I did to make him strong, to keep him alive, because in our world, weakness gets you killed. All I ever wanted was for him to live up to his potential.”
“A potential he didn’t want! There has never been anything weak about Mateo, but you made him feel that way. You tried to break him, but he was too strong for that. When he was young, all he wanted was to make you proud, yet you tried to kill everything good about him.”
It was then that everything in Ricky Sanchez changed. He set his elbows on the table. Leaned his head into his hands. “You don’t think I know that? I think about what I lost twenty-four hours a day. I promised his mom I would take care of him, and I did that the best way I knew how—by making him strong.”
He paused, looked around the room, and then eyed Josiah again, lowering his voice. “Rumors, they spread like crazy in here. I know what’s happening on the streets. I didn’t keep my promise to his mom when I was on the outside, but lately...life starts to look like a fucking eternity in this place, so I did my best to take care of him from the inside. Even when it meant hurting my own family, blood, and my streets.”
That was the answer Josiah needed. They might not know all the details, but they knew his father had been the puppet master. He’d orchestrated the attacks on Los Deminos and Javier. He set things into motion.
Ricky stood. “Don’t come back. I know what Javier did to Mateo and my gang, and I tried to fix it. Mateo is no longer my son. I can’t support his life. I kept my promise to his mom, and that’s all that matters.”
It made Josiah ill to look at him, to listen to him. No matter what he’d done, it hadn’t been for Teo. The man in front of him put Mateo through more than Josiah would ever know. His actions with Javier didn’t make up for that, and for all they knew, he mostly did it because he didn’t like Javier’s direction with the gang.
“You’re not worthy of him. He is stronger than you will ever be. He’s better than you will ever be. He will have a better life than you will ever have. And we will love him enough that he’ll never miss you.”
Ricky Sanchez stared at him, what looked like a mixture of relief and anger in his eyes. He nodded once and then went to the door and called the guard.