Early in our relationship, Nathaniel had mentioned that his cousin, Jackson, a professional football player, didn’t have a date for an event the entire family was attending. On a whim, I mentioned my best friend, Felicia. They went to the event together and were married less than six months later.
The chapel we were at, just outside the city, was over one hundred years old and the sanctuary had an almost medieval look to it with rustic wooden pews and stone walls. I could easily imagine how beautiful and romantic it would be bathed in candlelight.
“It is perfect, isn’t it?” I said in response to Felicia. “Since we’re not inviting anyone other than close friends and family, there’ll be plenty of room. Any bigger and there would be too many empty seats.”
“And the space is so beautiful, you don’t need much in the way of decorations.”
“That’s what I was thinking,” I said. “Just candles and maybe a few flowers.” Nathaniel had said he wanted cream-colored roses with just a hint of pink at the tips.
“Now you just need a reception space to open up.”
I sat down on one of the pews and pulled out my planning notebook. “We could still have it at Nathaniel’s if nothing becomes available.”
She sat down next to me, her expression serious. “How long do you think it’ll take before you start seeing the estate as yours?”
Her question caught me off guard, I’d honestly expected her to ask me about the food or music or something. “I do,” I said. “Lots of times when I’m talking I’ll say ‘our house’ or something similar. Sometimes it just comes out as ‘Nathaniel’s’ though. I guess if you think about it, it’s been his place longer than it’s been mine.”
“I haven’t said this and I’m sorry I’ve waited so long, but I think he’s good for you.” Felicia tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. “Whatever it is you guys have with each other, it’s obvious that it’s working.”
It was the closest she’d ever come to saying she approved of our lifestyle. I couldn’t help it, but I looked at her in shock.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she said. “I simply got curious and Googled a few things.”
“You Googled ‘BDSM’?”
“You know we’re having this conversation in a church, don’t you?” She shot a look over both shoulders, though she didn’t have to, the place was empty.
“Should we step outside? I will if it’ll make you more comfortable.”
“No, we can stay here. I just thought it was odd to be talking about stuff like that in church.”I smiled. “Stuff like that? Say it, Felicia. Say ‘BDSM.’”
She punched my arm. “Stop it, perv.”
“Me? You’re the one Googling kinky sex.” I wiggled my eyebrows. “Did you find it exciting?”
Though we could discuss just about anything, she’d never wanted to talk about my need for submission. Unfortunately, the early part of my relationship with Nathaniel hadn’t done much to endear her to the lifestyle. Especially considering the shape I’d been in when I left him.
“I guess I can see why someone would like it,” she said. “And I read that it’s more than kinky sex.”
“I told you that.”
“I know, but I wanted confirmation.”
“Right, because everything on the Internet is true.”
“Admit it, you just like giving me a hard time.”
I winked at her. “Yes, partly. But really I’m just glad you finally see it’s a need I have that Nathaniel fulfills.”
She sat back in her seat and suddenly looked very self-satisfied. “Nathaniel said as much once.”
She was dying to tell me. I could see it in her eyes. Since I wanted to hear what she was talking about, I played along. “Really? When?”
“That time you were in the hospital.”
“That was ages ago.” In actuality, it hadn’t even been a year, but so much had happened since then.
“Feels that way doesn’t it?” She shook her head. “Anyway, that night you were in the hospital, I went out in the hallway one time to tell him what I thought about his sorry ass. He told me then that whenever you were together, it was always your needs first.”
“Really?” I’d always wondered what it was the two of them discussed that night, because I noticed their relationship had changed afterward; neither one of them had ever told me.