Tudor laid his hand on his cheek, absorbing every word. “Places like that actually exist?” I knew he was finding it difficult to wrap his head around. Most people do.
“Unfortunately they do. After that he practically grew up with me and my folks. We both had a tough time at school and really only had each other for friends. He has never even had a serious boyfriend, not once. I also wonder if it is due to his parents’ continued rejection of him as why he can’t commit to a lover for a long period of time, but I’m no Psychologist so I let it go. We have been everything to each other for so long that sometimes it becomes blurred to both of us just what the boundaries are. If I’m hurt, he feels pain. If he’s upset, I cry alongside him, and if someone he doesn’t know tries to take over his caregiver role, he gets extremely defensive,”
I prodded Tudor’s chest and grinned. He nodded in understanding.
“Quite honestly, I wonder sometimes if we are too close. I admit now that I was not fully invested in my previous relationship. I always put Tink first, whether that was as simple as choosing a night out clubbing over a romantic meal with Nathan, or as serious as taking his side in any argument between the two, or even missing Nathan’s grandmother’s funeral to comfort Tink over a horrendous argument with his parents. Tink always won.
“I worry that we’ve never had fully committed relationships because we don’t know how to balance the love we have for our boyfriends with the fact that we are soul mates. We’re a package deal – buy one get one free! Whoever eventually takes us on will have to accept that or it’s a no go.”
I didn’t wait for Tudor’s reaction to my soul bearing, as I became distracted by my favourite song coming on MTV.
“Aww, I love this song.” I commented, starting to sway slightly in time with the music.
Tudor turned his attention to the TV. “What is it? Are they British?”
“Yeah, they are. It’s ‘Beneath Your Beautiful’ by Labrinth and Emeli Sande. Just listen, it’s so perfect.”
We did, nearly the whole song in silence.
“The words are gorgeous aren’t they? Just imagine if someone felt that way about you? To write something so incredible, and the muse was you. To love someone that much and talk about them so passionately that it only did them justice in song, to declare it for the world to hear.” I sighed dreamily, “It would be everything to me, for someone to be so proud to be with me that they want everyone and their mothers to see.”
I blanched. Why did I just say that in front of him? I hope I can just pass it off as being heavily medicated.
Tudor was silent, his gaze flashed to the end of song playing on the screen, listening to the words. When the song had reached its end and I subtly wiped away a stray tear, he shifted his body my way and ran his fingers over my head, lips pursed in concentration.“W-What are you doing?” I croaked.
Oh f**k, is he, is he going to kis–.
He reached for the bag of peas and grinned. “Just removing the bag, Tash. It’s been twenty minutes,” he said, pointing to rule number five on the laminated instructions propped up against the bedside lamp:
5. ‘Do NOT leave peas on for longer than twenty minutes at a time. You will freeze her freakin’ head off!’
“Oh yeah, thanks.” I deflated like a balloon.
What the hell was that all about, Tash? Do you want him to kiss you? I thought you didn’t like him? Oh shut up, I don’t know, okay?!
We slouched down again, lying to face each other as before. Tudor seemed content to just lie in silence, looking at me. Errrr, f**k that. I certainly wasn’t! To say he was intense was an understatement. He had asked a lot of questions about me, he claimed he felt like he ‘knew me’, and had turned me into a quivering wreck of a girl. But I didn’t have the foggiest about him! How bloody rude.
“Can I ask questions about you now?” I asked, nudging his arm tentatively and attempting to use my big brown eyes to lure him in – hey, it worked for Puss in Boots in Shrek!
He smiled and scooted closer. Very close in fact – boundaries were blurring.
“You can ask, I’ll choose to answer or not,” he responded gruffly and seriously as he rested his left hand on my hip on top of the duvet. My heart increased in speed while he looked as calm as the sea.
Go with it, Tash, throw caution to the wind and enjoy the sexiest man on the planet actually touching you in your bed! Way Aye!
“Okay. How did you become an actor?” I started off easy.
His eyes creased in amusement, he knew my plan.