So I clawed at my skin.
I clawed until I felt blood running down my arms.
Until I could feel the flames coming out…
“Flame?”
I gasped for breath and opened my eyes. My hands were on my head and I was rocking against the wall. But there was that voice again…
Maddie. The voice belonged to Maddie.
“Flame? Talk to me.” Maddie insisted. Then I remembered my hands on her skin. On her arms… on her neck.
“No!” I was going to hurt her, then… This little light of mine, I’m gonna shine…
I recognized her voice. I heard her voice. In the darkness, I heard her voice. My eyes stung when I heard that voice in my head… when I heard her sing.
“Flame?” Her voice was closer now.
I could hear footsteps on the floor, but my head was full. I could hear screaming, I could hear the baby screaming. But I couldn’t touch him. And she’d gone. Because of me.
Then he’d come to me, night after night…
“Flame, look at me.” Unable to do anything else, I looked up and blinked away the water blocking my sight, the images fogging my mind. They cleared when I saw her. When I saw her green eyes.
But when I looked behind her, I could see him walking forward. Anger ripped through my chest. He couldn’t hurt her. He couldn’t touch her, like he did me. I could see his eyes on her.
I had to make him go. He had to go.
My hands pushed off the wood beneath me and his attention snapped to me.
“Flame?” Maddie whispered, as she scurried backwards.
“No!” I shouted. She was moving nearer him. And he was removing his belt. My heart dropped when I saw his hands undoing his belt.
I staggered across my cabin. I needed to get to the hatch. I needed to save her. She’d been hurt enough. I couldn’t let him hurt her too.
My hands dropped to the button on my leathers and I hurried to undo it. But my hands were weak, my body wasn’t reacting right. When I looked behind me, he was following. I pulled my leathers down and off my feet, and heard his voice. “I’m gonna take the sin from your body, from your flesh, boy.” I sat down over the door, my chest hunched forward as I lowered my hand to touch my cock. It was hard. I was ready for him. Ready for his pain.
Looking around me, I searched for the knife. It was lying beside me. Picking it up, with him towering over me, I moved my hand on my cock, stroking back and forth. The blade of the knife struck at my flesh and I counted. “One…”
He stood behind me, his chest pushing against my back. I could feel him pushing inside. The pain always felt like it was too much, but I needed it. He’d made me need it.
I counted on.
Something moved before me, and I looked up, my heart beating too fast. Maddie before me, her hand over her mouth.
I worked my hand harder, needing to come. When I came, he left. Then he would leave Maddie alone. He pushed his cock against me harder. Striking the blade across my stomach, I screamed “Eleven!” and came on the hatch. The vomit came quicker this time. In seconds I leaned over the bucket at my side and emptied my stomach. But nothing came up. My head pounded and my vision became hazy when I pulled back.
Unable to remain sitting I fell over to lie on the hatch. Then I heard heavy footsteps walking away. I knew he was leaving the cabin. But I knew he’d be back… at least he was gone for now. I breathed as deeply as I could manage, but the skin across my chest stung, making it difficult.
A sniffing sound made me freeze. Blinking, I looked up at Maddie. She had dropped to her knees and now, she was just a few feet away. Then I felt an ache in my chest when I saw tears falling from her eyes. Her bottom lip was trembling and her hands were clutched in her lap.
“Flame,” she whispered when she saw me watching her. “Why did you do that to yourself?”
I wanted to move closer to her, but my body was too weak. I was so tired. Maddie shuffled closer, until she was almost at my side. She wiped at her cheeks, then asked, “Answer me, Flame. Why did you just hurt yourself?”
My mouth felt sore, my lips barely able to move, but Maddie had asked me a question and I wanted to answer. “He came for me. To release the flames, the evil. I saw him behind you, so I had to protect you. I… I had to protect you.”
Maddie stilled. I saw her throat swallow. “Who came for you?”
I thought of the man in my head—dark eyes and dark hair. “Him,” I replied, my skin crawling at his image in my head.
Maddie frowned still. “And he comes for you? To do… that?” she asked, her voice catching slightly as she spoke.