I wanted to provide memories she would never forget, like the stars.
After all, I was sure she already had my heart.
Chapter Eleven
Elsie
Happy birthday, Elsie!
I didn’t wake you before I left—you looked too peaceful. Thank you for coming to the game. I’ll play better knowing you’re in the stands watching.
My family are coming too. I know you’re nervous about meeting them all, but there’s no need. No one will judge, you. They’re my family. You can speak to them without fear. They know what you mean to me. They’ll keep you safe.
Be brave. Don’t hide your voice… it’s too pretty to not be heard.
Levi xx
As I sat on Levi’s bed, I fidgeted my hands on my lap. His letter was lying on the bed. I was counting down the five minutes until I had to be in the kitchen with all of Levi’s family. I had met Lexi, of course. I had seen Austin; he was polite enough, though I’d never uttered one word to him. He looked different to Levi. He was darker, and covered in tattoos and scars. Quite frankly, he intimidated me. But Axel, the sculptor, and Ally, his fiancée, had been away these past couple of weeks in New York. He had business there with a museum, and apparently they had also been celebrating their engagement with her parents.
But they were coming today, along with Austin’s best friend and wife.
Today was game day for Levi. It just so happened that it was my birthday too. And he wanted me at this game. He wanted me to watch him play. I hadn’t wanted to. I didn’t like crowds, or even being around people, but Levi had wanted it bad: I saw it in his eyes, I saw it in his flushed cheeks.
I had kept myself to myself since coming this house. I had stayed close to Levi. I had stayed in my room or, as of this week, Levi’s room. I read during the day, anything I could find, until Levi got home, when I would sit with him. Perfectly content. We would eat in his room while I rested. And we would talk, just the two of us in our own little world.
Until today.
Until now.
I really wanted to watch Levi play. I wanted to see him away from his studies, doing what he loved. I wanted to see the passion I knew he had for football played out on his home field.
But I had to overcome my fears first. I had to talk. Without realizing, I had unclasped the cuffs on my wrists. I was skimming over the scars on my wrists, feeling the still ridged marks. The two cuffed bracelets I always wore hid my shame. They hid the weakest moment in my life, from Levi.
From the world.
Dumbfuck. Shut your mouth, never speak. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.
Ice ran down my spine as the mocking sound of their laughter echoed louder in my head. The nasty feel of their words biting like a bullet into my heart; the laughing, the unfunny impressions, the sheer loneliness of being an outcast, of not being accepted—because of something I was born with—something that was beyond my control.
My hands froze, locked in fear. Today I would meet people my age. Today I would see girls like those girls. The ones that caused me to…
A knock sounded loudly on the pool house door, making me jump out of my skin. I quickly refastened my cuffs over my wrists. The door opened as I tried to calm my racing heart, and Lexi walked in. She was stunning; wearing jeans and black padded jacket, and her black hair down to her shoulders.
“Hey sweetie,” she chimed, and strode toward the bed. “You ready?”
I nodded my head, timidity holding my voice at bay. I saw Lexi’s shoulders drop when I didn’t reply. I knew it was because I hadn’t spoken. Levi had told her that I’d been speaking to him. She’d told me, on more than one occasion, she would never judge me. That she knew what it was like to keep a part of yourself hidden from the world. I didn’t know what she was specifically referring to, but still I believed her. I could see the genuineness in her expression.
As we walked out of the pool house toward the main house, I pictured Levi’s face last night, as he told me to trust his family, urging me not to hide, but to be brave in their company.
Without thinking, I lurched forward and grabbed hold of Lexi’s arm. Lexi spun on her heels, concern immediately evident on her face. I dropped my head, suddenly overcome by nervousness, when she asked, “Elsie? Are you okay?”
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to push past the barrier in my throat. “I…” I swallowed, wetting my dry throat, and continued. “I just wanted to say ‘thank you’… for everything... I…” I trailed off, overwhelmed by emotion.
I kept my head down, wincing about how I knew I sounded, when I suddenly found myself in Lexi’s arms. “You ain’t got nothing to be grateful to me for, Elsie,” Lexi whispered in my right ear, her voice thick with emotion. “Plus, as far as I can tell, it should be you I’m thanking.” She held me just a fraction tighter than before. “You’ve brought Levi to life since we took you in.” She pulled back and bent down to meet my gaze. “He’s been smiling, sweetie. Smiling. He ain’t had much cause to smile these past few years. And hell, we haven’t been able to help. But you…”
I tucked a strand of my hair back, as Lexi added, “Everyone is in the kitchen. You okay with meeting them all? They’re all mighty excited to see the girl who has captured our shy boy’s heart.”
I breathed in, looking over Lexi’s shoulder at the people milling about the kitchen and nodded my head. Lexi wrapped her arm around my shoulders, and guided me forward.
The second we entered the kitchen, I felt all eyes on me. Nothing happened, until Lexi introduced me. “This is Elsie, y’all. Levi’s girlfriend.” My nervousness was squashed the moment Lexi announced me as Levi’s girlfriend. We hadn’t said those words—boyfriend and girlfriend—to one another. Hadn’t had that conversation yet. We had just been… us. We kissed, we talked, we understood each other, never pushing the other too far. But beyond that, I didn’t know. I didn’t know what I was meant to do when I got better. I didn’t know what would become of my life, what would become of us. What would become of me.
I didn’t know how long I could stay.
“Elsie!” a thick Alabama accent took me from my worry, and I looked to my right to see a beautiful dark haired, dark eyed woman charging toward me. I stared, actually stared, at how beautiful she was, before I was swept up in her arms and squeezed hard. She quickly let me go, and I was met with her infectious bright smile.