“Jax.”
“You should stop, stop trying to save men like me.”
“Men like you?” I ask, my voice low.
“Failures, Delaney.”
I hold his eyes. “You’re not a failure, Jaxson Shields. You’re the most talented, incredible, beautiful man I’ve ever met.”
“I use women,” he says gruffly.
“You and a million other men.”
“They don’t deserve that.”
I scoff. “They want that, Jax, or they wouldn’t take it. Ever think they might just be using you as much as you’re using them?”
His eyes flash.
“You look at the world so differently than the rest of us.”
I nod slowly. “That’s because I choose to see it differently. Being bitter isn’t in my nature.”
Our eyes lock and the tension is back, thick and strong, right there like it was earlier. Jax reaches up again, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear. I gasp and all my logic is screaming at me to get up and run, but all my senses are aimed at him. They all want a piece of Jaxson Shields.
“I should…” I whisper.
He doesn’t let me finish. He moves his hand quickly, curling it around the back of my head and before I can protest, his lips are covering mine. My entire body jerks and I gasp with delight as he parts my lips with his tongue and suddenly I’m kissing Jax.
I didn’t plan for it. Hell, I didn’t even think I wanted it until today, but now I can’t imagine ever wanting anything else. He tastes like beer and masculine male, and everything wonderful. His lips are soft, but his cheeks are scratchy and the combination is incredible. My sex clenches and my hands move all on their own, grasping his waist.
He reaches down, taking my stool and sliding it closer to him, until his arms can go around my waist and his feet can hook around my stool, effectively trapping me in place. He kisses me hungrily, devouring my mouth, and I let him. I can feel his rigid ab muscles and god, he feels out of this world.
Our kiss becomes more frantic and his fingers dig into my hips, clenching and unclenching with clear need. His other hand slides between my legs and his fingers press gently against the soaked cotton covering my sex. He groans, I whimper, and he cups my sex, his big hand covering me and sparking everything to life. I fight with everything, knowing I shouldn’t be doing this, but not caring one bit as he moves his hands up and then slides them into my sweats.
His fingers dip into my pussy and graze over my clit. I gasp and whimper his name, our mouths moving apart for only a split second, before coming back together again in a kiss that’s hungrier than before. My fingers are still curled around his waist and he’s gently rubbing my clit in small, firm circles, making my body spark to life.
My orgasm is building higher and higher when the buzzer by the door sounds, like a screaming alarm. I jerk back, Jax flinches and we both look over to the door. Someone from downstairs is calling up. The sound repeats and it’s like cold water being splashed over my body. What the hell am I doing?
I pull back frantically, releasing Jax, and his hand slides from my pants as I stumble off the stool. Oh God, what the hell was I thinking? Letting him finger me? Where the hell has my brain gone? I rush over to the door, ignoring his muffled curses, and press the little button beside it.
“Yes?”
“Hello, Delaney,” the security man at the door calls out. “I have Tori here to see Mr. Shields.”
Dammit.
God dammit.
I want to scream in frustration, but instead I glance to Jax, who is staring at me, his face an expressionless mask. He nods and I want to die from the jealously that rips through my chest. “Send her up,” I say, my voice weak.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I want to turn and run, but I can’t. I have to make sure it really is Tori and not someone pretending to be her. When the apartment door rings, I glance through the peephole and see it is Tori. With a sigh, I open the door. Her eyes widen as she takes me in, and then she demands, “Is Jax here?”
“Of course he’s here,” I say, my voice empty. “Why the hell would I be here if he wasn’t?”
“Right,” she says. “Let me in?”
“You need to show me what’s in your purse,” I say, deadpan.
“Seriously?”
“I’m sure you’re aware of what went down today, so I ask that you cooperate.”
She grunts and thrusts her purse at me. I check it over and then hand it back to her, flinging the door open. She sees Jax and I don’t miss the narrowing of her eyes when she sees he’s only in a pair of sweatpants. Still, she charges forward and throws herself into his arms. “Oh Jax, I was so worried,” she says, burying her face into his neck.
“I’m fine, Tor,” he says, holding onto her.
Dammit.
I swallow and flinch, slamming the door loudly and setting the alarm. Then I turn and see Jax is watching me from over Tori’s shoulder. I stiffen and turn, muttering, “’Night,” before disappearing into the library and shutting the door. Then I lock it.
And I keep it that way until morning.
* * *
I’m awake before Jax in the morning, and I get right to work making coffee and preparing for the day. We’re going to a business meeting, then he’s got a dinner and a night out at the casino. I’m hoping in all this we won’t get a chance to talk. I need to gather myself, recover from yesterday, push any pathetic feelings lingering for Jax aside and focus on the job at hand.
Keeping him safe.
I try so hard not to think about what happened last night, but it’s nearly impossible. Jaxson Shields had his hands in my pants, and it felt fucking incredible. I can’t let that happen again. I need to be as professional as I can, and refuse any alone time with him unless it’s to protect him. Nothing else.
I hear footsteps as I’m preparing coffee. I look over to see Jax coming down the stairs followed by Tori. My heart clenches, so badly I have to look away. I have no right to be jealous—he isn’t with me. He’s been sleeping with her. It’s none of my business. I don’t care. I tell myself these things over and over as I try to keep cool, calm and collected.
“Delaney,” Jax says, but I don’t look at him.
“We have a meeting this morning. Could you get ready so I can ensure you make it on time?”
He’s silent, but I keep my eyes on the coffee, grabbing mine before turning towards my room to get changed. “Your coffee is there. I didn’t get one for your girlfriend, I didn’t realize she was here. I’ll be out in twenty minutes.”
“Delaney,” he tries again, but I ignore him and walk into the library, shutting the door.
I press my back against it, taking a deep steadying breath. I can do this, I have to do this. I’ve come this far, one little moment isn’t going to change that. I push off and get dressed. I’m just buttoning my top when the door cracks open and Jax steps in.
“Too bad if I was naked,” I mutter.
“Can we talk?” he asks.
“No, Jaxson, we can’t. Are you ready to go?”
I turn and glance at him for the first time, and my heart aches. He’s dressed, but his eyes look so tired. I try not to feel sympathy, and instead hold a steady, blank expression.