Yeah, hell. He had hurt her. “I’m sorry, Serena. So damn sorry.”
“Are you? Then make it up to me. Call me.”
“I can’t.” He said this as kindly as he could, but he didn’t want to give her false hopes. “Serena, I won’t call you.”
She stared at him, then let out a low, unhappy laugh. “I’ve been waiting for you to come to your senses, but you’re over me. You’re really over me.”
Cam watched Katie come out of the bank and smile at him, and he thought, Yeah, he really was.
But that didn’t mean he got to move on to hurting someone else. Katie was here taking a baby step, doing her best to move on with her life. How he’d ever thought sleeping with her would help her, he had no idea. Probably because he’d been thinking of himself.
“Don’t be selfish with her, Cam,” Serena said quietly, nailing the point home. “For once in your life.”
If he, indeed, was trying to grow up and move on, he had to admit, she was right. He wouldn’t be selfish, not with Katie.
Chapter 14
As Cam let Katie drive back to the lodge, Serena’s words echoed in his head, all while extremely aware of how warm and sweet and sexy she felt in his arms.
Don’t be selfish with her, Cam. For once in your life…
And he had been plenty selfish in his life, she was right about that. Katie had been through hell, and yet unlike him, she was making something of herself. Trying to be happy.
Sleeping with her would make him happy, of that he had no doubt. It’d ease a tension he couldn’t seem to shake.
But what would it do for Katie? He knew enough about her to know that when she slept with someone, it meant something to her. She wasn’t a one-night stand woman. She deserved better from him. Much better.
When she pulled them up to the equipment garage, she sighed in pleasure, staying where she was a moment, her head resting back on his chest. “Thanks for the ride.”
“You drove.”
“And thanks for that too.” She slid out of his arms and off the snowmobile. When she caught sight of his face, her smile slowly slipped away. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” Except that he was trying to do the right thing for someone else for a change. “I just have to get going.”
“Okay.” But she stood there a moment longer, clearly hoping he was going to break the sudden awkwardness.
Not going to happen. He was saving her from himself.
“Okay, well, thanks again.” She turned, then looked back. “Look, um…Did something happen that I missed?”
“No, I’ve just got things to do.”
She kept her eyes on his. “Okay, I get that. But I ask because the last time I let this odd feeling go, it turned out you were back on the mountain for the first time. So I can’t help but wonder what’s happening now. Inside you.”
“Katie…this is for the best. Really.”
She blinked. “Oh. You mean…you withdrawing. Pulling back.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Wow.” She shook her head. “I didn’t see that coming.”
She wanted to say more, he could tell, but though she was direct, she was not pushy, and in the end, she gave him a smile that didn’t quite meet her whiskey eyes. “Good-bye, Cam.”
He felt like an ass. Like he’d just kicked a puppy. Like he’d once again let down someone he cared about. “Goodbye, Katie.”
With a nod, she turned and walked off without another word, leaving him torn between a huge relief and the feeling he’d just done exactly the opposite of his intention-he’d hurt her.
That, and also, possibly, he’d just let the best thing that had happened to him in a damn long time walk away. With a rough exhale, he turned inside the equipment garage and found Stone coming out. “Hey. Thought you had that trip to-”
“Canceled,” Stone said. “But there’s a group who wants to go up the summit tonight for a moonlight snowshoe hike. I’m giving it to you.”
“No, no way. Not in the mood.”
“Get in the mood.”
“Why? What’s wrong with your legs?”
“Got a date.”
Cam lifted a brow. “That new server at Moody’s?”
“Maybe.”
“Doesn’t seem fair, me taking the hike, you getting lucky.” Especially considering he’d be sleeping alone for the foreseeable future.
Gee, what a change that would be.
“Seems to me, you’ve been plenty lucky,” Stone reminded him. “And given what I interrupted the other day-”
“Yeah, that’s…not happening.”
“Why?”
“Because.” Cam stretched the tensed muscles in his neck. “Because I’m an idiot.”
Stone studied him a long moment. “You falling for her? Is that why you’re backing off?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Ah, so this is the Wilder trait kicking in, the f**k-up-your-happiness trait.”
“Shut up, Stone.”
“Jesus.” Stone shook his head. “Really, Cam? You don’t think you’ve punished yourself enough this year? I get that you’re not a hotshot snowboarder anymore, with an MTV crew following you around 24/7 and chicks throwing themselves at you. But who is? Get over it.”
“I am. I’m trying.” He shoved Stone out of his way and stalked into the garage, then whipped back. “I’m still here, aren’t I? And before you get all pissy over that”-he stabbed a finger into Stone’s chest-“you should know, I’m still here because I want to be.”