“The heart attack?”
“Yeah. I don’t want him worrying about me while he’s over there.”
“Dad, I told him you were missing and that I went out after you with Adam.”
“Goddammit.” He glared at her, eyes bloodshot, the lines in his face drawn. He seemed older than she could remember him looking, and her heart clenched.
“So, it’s okay for you to keep a secret for years,” he griped, “and yet you babble about me to the entire f**king world?”
“Maybe that’s our problem. As a family, we don’t talk much.”
“Well, you picked a hell of a time to change the rules.”
He was brooding, and sensing it, Thing One and Thing Two hopped up and surrounded him. Holly moved closer, too, because he looked sad sitting between the two happy pups. Too sad. Feeling grateful to have him home safe and sound, wanting him to know it, she leaned in and kissed his tight jaw. “We’ll deal with it, Dad. Okay? We’ll deal with it together.”
He nodded, then paused. Clearly he wanted to say something, and since it was unlike him to hesitate over anything, ever, her gut tightened. “What?”
“I never asked about Derek, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t wonder. In fact, I’d guessed about you splitting up.” This didn’t surprise her. Her dad kept himself incredibly busy, but he was astute and as sharp as a tack. Not to mention nosy as hell. He liked to know what was going on with his people. “I contacted him and asked him directly. He confirmed that you’d filed for divorce. I didn’t say anything to you about it because…”
She stared at him in shock, because this did surprise her, though it shouldn’t have. “Because why, Dad? Why didn’t you tell me that once again you’d interfered?”
He grimaced. Guilt? Probably not. Probably just bracing himself for the fight about it now that he’d confessed. “Because you didn’t tell me yourself,” he finally said. “I thought you didn’t want me to know. And for the first time in your life, you’ve seemed…” He searched for words, and when they came, they weren’t what Holly expected. “Sure of yourself,” he said quietly. “And happy in your skin. I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
“Oh.” Her throat felt tight, but she nodded. Because it was true. Being back here in Sunshine, running the business side of things for Reid Ranching had empowered her. “I see.”
“Actually, no you don’t.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “And damn, but I’m really bad at this.” He dropped his hand and met her gaze. “All your life, Holly, you’ve hidden yourself, conforming to what you thought I wanted. Or your mom. And then that as**ole you married to spite me. You hid yourself, and I let you. I was wrong. You needed to find your own way, and you’ve done that. You’ve become tough and strong. A true Reid. Damned if I was going to take that away from you.”
“Oh, Dad.” She nudged Thing One off the couch and plopped down in his spot. They sat there a moment, companionably quiet.
“He’s a good man, Holly.”
Head back, she craned her neck to look at him. “Who?”
“Adam.”
Her heart knocked once against her ribs. “That was never in question.”
“He’s a good man,” her dad repeated. “And if I had any hand in messing things up the first time, I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t you.” She’d wanted Adam to stay in Sunshine—but she’d wanted that for her, not taking into account his wants. She’d been immature and selfish. “You were there for him, guiding him when he needed it. You did what was right for him.”
Which was more than she’d managed.
“I did. And I’ll do what’s right for him now, too,” her dad said.
“Which is?”
“Give him my permission to date you.”
Holly stared at him, not knowing whether to laugh or be horrified. “Dad, you do realize that we don’t need your permission.”
“Well, of course I realize that. But I want him for you.”
Laughing won, she decided. “You spent the past decade trying to talk me out of Derek.”
“Adam’s a better man.”
She agreed. “Adam’s not ready for me.”
Now her father laughed, too. “Since when has something like that ever stopped you?”
Adam spent his first day back out on Bear Lake evaluating a class of five trying to pass their S&R certs. He got home later than planned, missing dinner with Dell and Brady, both of whom had left him bitchy texts like a couple of women.
This suited Adam, who wasn’t ready to be grilled. He still hadn’t processed all that had happened in the past few days. Being in such close proximity with Holly had fried his brain circuit. At least that was the story he was going with, since he couldn’t come up with any other reason for what had happened between them.
Being with her again had done something to him, cracked something open deep on the inside. He wasn’t sure how or what, but he knew one thing.
He was feeling again, way too much.
Then there’d been the matter of the caves and his massive failure to handle himself there. Yeah, fun times. He was really enjoying obsessing over that…
He’d done his best to shove it all away, but that wasn’t working out so well for him. And he knew better, anyway. Shoving the bad shit deep always backfired, because then he ended up at the mouth of a set of caves having a breakdown…
Christ.
Completely over himself, he got up early the next morning to take out his horse. Reno was a four-year-old American quarter horse and the other love of Adam’s life besides his dog. Two years ago, Reno had been rescued from a traveling carnival looking like a bare sack of bones and skin, covered in sores from being beaten. With Dell’s help, Adam had nursed him back to life. These days Reno was fit and happy—and demanding.
When Adam got close enough, Reno nickered in greeting and butted him in the chest, snorting with eagerness to get out. While Adam saddled him up, Reno frisked him for apple slices—which he found in Adam’s jacket pocket. “You’re an attention ’ho, you know that. Like a woman,” Adam said, hearing the footsteps behind him. Knowing it was his brother, he didn’t turn.
“Don’t let your woman hear you say that,” Dell said, leaning against a post.
Adam imitated Reno and ignored this. He hopped into the saddle and took off, leaving Dell to eat their dust.
His woman.
He didn’t have a damn woman and didn’t have room in his life for one, anyway. He didn’t have time or inclination or need. He didn’t have shit. He sure as hell didn’t have a single thing to offer a woman.
So why have you done nothing but think about her?
He brushed that thought off the same way he’d brushed off his brother.
Or tried.
But it didn’t take Dell long to saddle his horse and urge Kiki to catch up to Reno. Kiki had a thing for Reno. A competition thing. The two horses nickered at each other while Dell tipped his hat back and flashed a triumphant smile at Adam.
The brothers were as competitive as their horses.“In a hurry, then?” Dell asked.
“Needed a ride.”
“Thought maybe you’d already gotten one of those recently.”
Adam shot his brother a long look, which Dell met evenly. “You seemed…relaxed, is all,” Dell said.
Adam shook his head. “Is this why you’re up at the crack of dawn? To bug the shit out of me? Where’s Jade?”
“She’s pissed off at me right now.”
“Maybe you can pretend I’m pissed off at you, too.”
Dell sighed. “You’re no fun anymore.”
Adam didn’t respond to that, since it might very well be true. “Why’s Jade pissed?”
“Because I asked her how she felt about diamond rings.”
Adam stared at him. “You asked her to marry you?”
Dell shrugged. “Not yet.”
“So how does she feel about diamond rings?”
“She says she’s happy living in sin with me and doesn’t see the reason to complicate things.”
Adam looked at his brother, the guy who defined laid-back and easygoing, the guy who’d never wanted a relationship, much less a wedding ring. “You really want to marry her.”
“More than anything.” Dell leaned forward and gently patted Kiki’s neck. “I’ll wear her down. Eventually.”
Adam smiled. “Going to be fun watching you try.”
They rode hard out to Crescent Canyon and stared down at the valley below.
Dell dismounted and, holding Kiki’s reins, walked to the edge. He looked down for a long moment, then tossed his head back and let out a yell. When he was done, he turned to Adam.
Adam dismounted Reno and joined his brother. Side by side, they stared down into the meadow, dotted with a mix of snow and mud. It was late enough in the year that everything was still brown from a late fall, and far too early for any hints of spring. And yet the meadow was quiet, serene. Beautiful.
“Do it,” Dell said.
“I’m good.”
“Do it or I’ll push you off.”
This wasn’t true. Dell wouldn’t push Adam off because then he’d have to run Belle Haven alone, and he was too lazy to handle it all by himself. Adam turned his gaze to the meadow. The deal was to think of the thing that you wanted to let go of. So he closed his eyes and knew exactly what he wanted to let go of—the memory of Holly having to get him out of the cave. Just thinking about it he felt himself start to sweat. He drew a deep breath and yelled at the top of his lungs until he had nothing left.
Still staring into the meadow, Dell reached out and clasped a hand on Adam’s shoulder. They stood like that until Reno nudged Adam, searching his pockets for more apple slices.
Dell laughed when the horse found them. “You are such a softie,” he said.
If Adam hadn’t just yelled himself hoarse, losing all the tension in his entire body, he might have shown Dell just how much he wasn’t a softie. But he was feeling much more relaxed now and not up to a tussle. They got back on their horses and rode to Belle Haven, arriving in plenty of time before Dell’s patients.
Dell was a damn good veterinarian and extremely popular. Usually he was busy from morning until night, seeing anything from the animal kingdom that needed him. In general, his appointments ran the gamut from a rabbit with an abscess to a goat who’d let her curiosity get the best of her and had ended up with her head stuck inside a mailbox.
Adam had a busy day. He worked an S&R for a hiker who’d turned out to not be lost at all but hiding out from his pissed-off wife after he’d blown their savings at an online gambling site.
It was much later that afternoon when Brady and Twinkles, his rescued mutt, cornered Adam in the staff room. Brady was tall, broad-shouldered, and built for a fight. They’d certainly had plenty when they’d been teenagers, but they’d both mellowed in their old age. “How you doing?” Brady asked.
Adam shrugged, bent to scratch Twinkles behind the ears, and then searched their refrigerator for something to eat. For several years now, he’d not felt much, including hunger. He’d eaten in order to fuel his body, nothing more. But lately he’d been hungry. Famished, even. He found a big, fat turkey club sandwich. Score.
“Shoulder okay?”
Adam nodded as he dug into the sandwich. When he looked up, Dell was there, too, exchanging a long look with Brady. “What?”
“You’re eating my sandwich,” Dell said.
“Yeah.” Adam took another huge bite. “It’s good, too.”
Normally Dell would call him an asshole, but he didn’t. This was because both Dell and Brady had been treating him with kid gloves ever since he’d gotten back from Fallen Lakes—which, FYI, he hated. Hated.
“Poker night,” Dell said. “My place.”
They played bimonthly with Lilah and Cruz, her partner at the kennels. Poker night was taken very seriously. Adam had won big the past three times they’d all played, so he knew everyone would be out for his blood tonight. Normally this wasn’t a problem. He was good at being unreadable. Few could outbluff him. It was a talent that had served him well through his teenage crime spree, and then the military. And now at kicking some poker ass.
But he wasn’t in the mood to play. He shrugged, signaling maybe he’d be there, maybe not. And since Dell wasn’t going to stop him, he ate more of the sandwich.
Dell glanced at it longingly but didn’t say a word.
“What does that mean?” Brady asked Adam. “That shrug. You’re coming, right?”
“Maybe. I’m tired.”
Brady and Dell exchanged another look.
“What now?”
“You tell us what,” Dell said, eyeing the sandwich, and if Adam wasn’t mistaken, his brother’s mouth was watering.
Adam took another big bite and shook his head. “Not a clue.”
“Okay, can we stop with the bullshit?” Brady asked. “You went on a rescue.”
Ah, so the kid-glove treatment was from the rescue out at Bear Lake, not related to Holly at all. “Yeah,” he said. “I went on two rescues this week actually. So what? I do it every week.”
Of course it wasn’t every week that he also banged his co-rescuer on a mountaintop, but that was best kept to himself.
Twinkles eyed Adam’s food and whined. Brady scooped the little guy up and cuddled him. Brady, the big badass, cuddling a damn dog. It’d be funny, if Adam could find the funny in anything right now.