Josh knew he needed to get up, but lying here with Grace wrapped around him like he was her own personal body pillow was really doing it for him.
He’d shown up here tonight and pretty much taken what he’d needed from her without a thought to the after. This wasn’t supposed to keep happening, and yet it did. And each time, feelings got deeper.
At least for him.
He had no idea what that meant for them now and wasn’t all that eager to find out if things had changed between them. Of course they’d changed, because in his experience, right about now was when things tended to go to shit.
“Hey,” Grace murmured, her head on his chest, fingers gliding back and forth from pec to pec. “You okay?”
“That was going to be my question to you.”
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “Nice deflection, Dr. Scott.”
He blew out a breath and lay back, staring up at the ceiling. He felt unsure, and that was an extremely new and uncomfortable sensation.
“Are you…feeling claustrophobic?” she asked. “Maybe contemplating a trip to Australia to go surfing?”
He shook his head at her polite tone. “Not all men are dicks like your exes, Grace.”
“Touché. And right back at you.”
He tilted his head down and met her gaze. “I haven’t dated anyone with a dick.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Actually, I don’t.”
“It means,” she said, coming up on an elbow to lean over him, eyes flashing, “that I might have called this ‘just fun’ but that doesn’t mean I’d walk away if the going got tough.”
God, she was gorgeous when riled up. “So that wasn’t some sort of pity fuck?”
She pulled back to stare at him, then laughed, dropping her head to his chest.
“Just what a man loves. Being laughed at in bed.”
“I don’t do pity fucks,” she said, still grinning, pissing him off a little. “And I especially don’t do pity f**ks with doctors. Doctors don’t need pity fucks.”
Some of his annoyance drained away. “What do doctors need?”
She climbed on top of him, effectively taking care of the rest of his annoyance. “I’ll show you,” she said.
It was 3:00 a.m. before Josh could move again, and his blanket—a warm, sated, boneless Grace—murmured in soft protest. He stroked a soothing hand down her back.
She let out a sexy little purr and fell back into a deep sleep. He managed to untangle himself and rolled out of the bed without her stirring.
As he moved around the room searching out the scrubs he’d carelessly discarded earlier, his gaze kept wandering back to the bed. To the woman in it.
Dead to the world.
When he was dressed, he bent over her and brushed a kiss over her mouth. “’Night,” he whispered.
She let out a barely there snore that made him smile as he left the guesthouse, carefully locking the door behind him. He entered his house and moved down the hall. Toby’s door was open but he wasn’t there; he was still at his friend Conner’s. Anna’s door was also open, and he found his sister sitting in her chair at her bedroom window, staring out into the dark night.
“Hey,” he said, startled to see her. She did her best to avoid him these days. Something else he was going to have to fix in all his new spare time that he didn’t yet have. “No adventure tonight?” he asked carefully. Something was obviously wrong. Not that she’d tell him.
“Hard to have an adventure on wheels.”
His chest ached, and he drew a slow, painful breath. “What adventure would you like to have?”
She sighed, then wheeled to face him. “Don’t you ever get tired of trying to make my life work for me?”
“No.”
She stared at him and then shook her head. “Well I do. I hate being a pathetic burden.”
“Anna, you are smart, attitude-ridden, and scary as hell. You’re a lot of other things, too, but you are not, nor have you ever been, a pathetic burden.”
She shrugged.
“What if it was me?” he asked her quietly. “Me hurt in the accident. Me in a chair. Would you think of me as a burden?”
“Would I have to wipe your drool?”
He sighed. Her teen years had been hell on wheels. Literally. Once in a while he thought he saw glimpses of the gentler, kinder version of Anna that she’d been as a young girl, but right now wasn’t one of those times.
“Fine,” she said, caving. “I’d kick your ass every day until you no longer felt sorry for yourself.”
“So consider your ass kicked,” he said.
“I’m still going to Europe.”
He’d done a lot of thinking about this, and the idea of Anna alone in Europe gave him the cold sweats. But she was twenty-one, and the truth was, he couldn’t stop her. And he did understand her need to go, to prove her independence. He really did. He just was terrified for her. “You can get adventure closer to home and closer to your support system.”
“My support system works twenty-four-seven and doesn’t have time for his own life, much less mine.”
Guilt sliced him. “That’s going to change. You know I sold the practice.”
“I’m still doing this.”
Since there was nothing to say to that, he turned to go.
“Josh?”
He looked back, wondering what she was going to fling at him now. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
He was so surprised she could have knocked him over with one little push. “For?” he asked warily.
“For not seeing me as pathetic.”
Chapter 20
Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed but chocolate makes it worthwhile.
Josh walked into his office the next day and found his office staff and Tessa huddled over the scheduling computer. They looked up in unison, paused, and then—still in unison—grinned.
“Nice,” Dee said to him.
“What?” He looked behind him; he was the only one there.
“You got some,” Dee said.
Michelle and Tessa smiled and nodded.
Josh worked at not reacting. He had a good staff, but they were a pack of vultures. If they sensed a weakness, they’d attack.
“’Bout time, if you ask me,” Michelle said. “So it’s a good day to ask for a raise?”
“I’m thinking you don’t have enough work to do,” Josh said in his boss voice.
They all scattered, except for Tessa. “I’m beginning to see why you signed on the dotted line,” she said. “Having a life looks good on you.”
The morning went so smoothly that Josh got an actual lunch break. He met Ty and Matt at the Love Shack, Lucky Harbor’s bar and grill. They’d beaten him there and were seated at a table hunched over Cosmo magazine.
“It was on the table when I got here,” Matt said in his defense.
Josh eyed the open magazine. “You don’t already know how to satisfy your boyfriends in bed?”
Matt ignored this. “Did either of you know there’s ninety-nine ways to give a bl*w j*b? That’s ninety-nine nights of bl*w j*bs.”
“Look at you with the math skills,” Josh said.
Matt flipped him off while Ty flipped the page. “‘How to Give Your Hoo-Ha a Spa Day.’ Huh,” he said. “I didn’t know a woman’s hoo-ha needed a spa day.”
Ford came out from behind the bar to take their order. “Saw you on FB,” he said to Josh.
“Ty was a part of the rescue too.”
“I meant with the pretty babysitter at your son’s Back-to-School night.” Ford laughed. “Caught by Lucille, huh? Gotta be stealth, man. Geriatric stealth.”
Josh didn’t bother to sigh. “Like you didn’t get on Facebook all last year when you started seeing Tara.”
At this, Ford let out an unabashed grin, because they all knew it was true. While dating Tara, he’d found himself in the middle of an all-out whose-dick-is-bigger contest with her ex, which had been splashed across the entire town like it’d been first-line news. Ford was a world-class sailing pro and had a gold medal and buckets of money, but to this day, he was most famous for that abs contest, which had been legendary. As had the fallout, which had involved Ford breaking his leg climbing an apple tree to impress the girl.
“At least I didn’t end up in my ER getting my leg set in a cast,” Josh said.
Ford laughed good-naturedly and took their order. When he was gone, Matt looked at Josh. “So how’s it going with your Grace anyway? Still having fun playing house?”
He’d been working at not replaying every detail of last night in his head over and over again. Working, and failing. Last night had been…incredible. “Says the guy who just put a rock on his girlfriend’s finger.”
Matt shrugged. “Turns out I like commitment. Who knew?”
“Yeah? And what’s your excuse?” Josh asked Ty.
Ty’s lips curved. “I took a page from your book.”
“Mine?”
“I like the idea of the whole family thing, like you have with Toby and Anna. I want that. I want that with Mallory.”
Their food came, and while Josh ate his chicken sandwich, he thought of his “whole family thing.” He had his sister, who missed their mom and dad like she missed her own legs and was dating a first-class asshole. His son, who had spent far too many nights going to bed without any parent at all. The family unit everyone thought he had wasn’t what it was supposed to be, and that killed him.
He’d made the first step—selling the practice. He only hoped he’d done it in time to repair his relationships. It wasn’t something he could write a prescription for. He couldn’t order a scan and diagnose a solution. “I’ve f**ked it up.”
“Yeah?” Ty asked. “With the hot nanny?”
“No.” Yes. “Never mind.”
“That’s the first sign of losing it,” Ty said. “Disagreeing with yourself. And trust me, I should know.”
Josh managed a brief smile at the memory of Ty coming apart at the seams not so long ago but Matt kept his eyes on Josh. Concerned.
“Stop,” Josh said to him. “I’m not losing it.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Huh?”
“You’re wrapped pretty tight,” Matt said. “You should get in the ring with one of us. Release some tension.”
“I’ve seen you two in the ring,” Josh said. “It’s like Extreme Cagefighting. On steroids. I like being able to walk out of the gym after a workout.”
“One time,” Ty said. “I only needed help one time. And it’s because he sucker punched me.”
Matt smiled smugly. “That’s what happens when you stop to take a call from your fiancée when you’re still in the ring.”
“I’m not getting in the ring,” Josh said, and stood. He dropped cash on the table. “I’ve got to get back.”
His waiting room was calm and quiet. The front desk was calm and quiet. Everything was calm and quiet.
“There’s no one waiting for me?” he asked Michelle.
“Tessa’s got it moving along pretty good.”
He eyed the schedule. “What about Mrs. B?”
“Oh, she’s already been seen. She had some arthritic flare-up.”
Josh was stunned. Mrs. B. had never been willing to see anyone else before. “And Lisa Boyles? She was bringing in her three kids for sports physicals.”
“Tessa finished early and offered to see them, and Lisa took her up on it. That’s who she’s with right now.”
“Okay…” He felt a little off center. “I’ll go get some charting done.”
“Sure.”
But when he got to his office and sat down, the charting didn’t appeal. Where was a fast-paced ER emergency when he needed one? Anderson couldn’t fall off the pier now?
He saw patients that afternoon but it remained quiet and sedate. Not at all what he was used to.
But what you wanted…
Except suddenly he wasn’t keeping the world going around. It was going around without him, all on its own.
And he didn’t know if he liked it.
That night for the first time in months, Josh got home in time for dinner. He walked into his house and blinked. His living room had been turned into a fort. Blankets and sheets had been stretched across the couches, tucked into the entertainment center, into shelves, anywhere and everywhere. He crouched down, and yep, it was filled with what appeared to be every single toy Toby owned.
He entered the kitchen to find Toby and Grace sitting on the counter, eating chocolate cupcakes. Josh met Grace’s gaze, and the air did that unique crackle thing while her slow smile brought back memories of the night before.
Slow hands. Deep, wet, unending kisses. Bodies hot and damp and meshed together. Heady, erotic pleasures…
“Daddy, cupcakes!” Toby said.
“I’m sorry.” Josh pretended to scrub out his ear. “Was that English?”
Toby grinned.
Josh pulled him up for a hug and came away a little sticky. “You’re supposed to eat the dessert, not bathe in it.”
This earned him another grin. “Try it!” Toby demanded, holding out his cupcake.
Josh took a bite, and he had to admit that the soft, spongy chocolate cupcake was pretty damn amazing. He took another bite, pretending to go for Toby’s fingers, earning him a belly laugh.