“No.” Yet, Ben didn’t move.
Dante closed his eyes. Sighed, and then opened them again. “Go to bed.”
Still, Ben didn’t get up.
This time when Dante’s fingers touched his face, his hold was gentler. And damned if Ben didn’t try to pull away this time.
“I have them, too. Nightmares. I have some work to get done. I already changed the sheets on the bed. Go lie down. Get some rest. I’ll wake you if you’re restless. This is the only chance you’ll get.”
And he needed that. Fucking needed it and wanted it the way he hadn’t needed or wanted something in a while. Sleep, and someone to watch over him. He gave Dante a single nod, didn’t let himself think as Dante stepped backward and Ben stood. Dante grabbed his laptop and the two of them went back to his room.
After Dante sat back in the chair he’d been in earlier, Ben lay down, and was asleep seconds later.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Ben was hard.
Like any other man he woke up that way most of the time, the difference with Ben recently was—he didn’t sleep much, and his hard on went away before he could do much about it.
Still, he tried. He always tried, which was why he slid his hand beneath his clothes and wrapped it around his hot prick. Ben stroked, up and down, squeezing himself tightly, needing release so badly. His whole body hurt. He was wound up so tightly he wasn’t sure he could ever ease the tension inside him. Wasn’t sure he cared either.
As soon as those thoughts hit him, Ben started to deflate. The heat inside him began to wane but the desire didn’t. It was there, right fucking there, that need to let loose, to come. But the more he tried, the harder he squeezed and the faster he moved his hand, the less blood pumped through him.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
Ben shook his head, let go of his dick, and then, “Keep going.”
His eyes jerked open, the past few days came flooding back. He’d almost choked a boy in the club. He’d been beaten, something he wanted and then Dante brought him home. Drugged Ben, yes, but he’d also fed him and helped him sleep.
“Don’t stop,” Dante’s dark, husky voice told him. He didn’t move. Ben had no idea how he could keep so still that way. He looked to be in the same position he had been in last night.
“Fuck you.” I’m not hard.... I can’t stay fucking hard.
“I already told you we wouldn’t be doing that. This? Watching you? I didn’t say anything about not allowing that, so don’t stop. You want it, Ben. You want it so badly you can taste it. I see it in your eyes, so I’ll say this again. Don’t stop.”
Dante’s eyes darted toward Ben’s crotch. On reflex, he put his hand on the bed, and tried to get up. Pain ripped through his side at the quick movement. At the same time, Dante’s hand shot out. Somehow he kept the laptop on his lap as he grabbed Ben’s arm.
“Are you hard?”
Jesus, like he wanted to speak about that with the man. Another fuck you perched on the tip of Ben’s tongue but he didn’t push the words free.
“Is that a problem for you?”
He closed his eyes, let out a deep breath. This is what it had come to. How much more could he lose? Bonnie and Tristan. The job he loved so much. His sleep was robbed by Javier and Bonnie and now he couldn’t even come anymore.
Ben didn’t open his eyes. Couldn’t. His hand shook as he lay in a bed that wasn’t his own with a man he wanted watching, knowing that Ben couldn’t even keep a God damned erection anymore.
Finally, not sure what else to do, Ben said, “It didn’t used to be. I fucked my way through half of the clubs in New York. It’s not working anymore. What kind of man can’t keep his dick hard?”
The room was so damned quiet that if Dante hadn’t been holding Ben’s arm, he wouldn’t think anyone sat beside him.
He didn’t open his eyes when Dante released him. Didn’t when he heard a sound, the laptop being set down, maybe? The last thing he wanted to do was face the man. Face the man he’d watched in the club who now knew Ben’s cock had gone limp.
“Open your eyes, Ben.” Dante’s voice sounded from above him, as though he’d pushed to his feet and stood next to the bed.
He didn’t want to, didn’t fucking want to do what this man said. He had a limp dick and a man he didn’t know issuing him orders. That wasn’t the way things went down for Ben. It was weak but the only option was to lie there with his eyes closed. He couldn’t do that either.
“Open your eyes.”