My control fractures fast until I’m mindlessly thrusting inside her. Kate’s moans get louder and her head thrashes back and forth. God, I hope she comes soon, because I don’t think I can hold back, knowing this to be true by the pressure starting to bubble hot inside of me.
“Come on, Kate,” I urge her, each word coming out on a hard gust of breath.
One particularly deep thrust and Kate cries out. I immediately crush my mouth down on hers to help keep her pleasure silent and I can feel her humming deep in her throat. I know she’s coming when one hand reaches up and grabs a handful of my hair, pulling hard at the back of my head. Her body stiffens for a brief moment, her hips slam up to meet mine, and her back arches so strongly off the bed that she pushes my weight backward.
Fuck…she comes gloriously hard. I’ve never seen or felt that before, and she pushes a scream right into my mouth.
Her undoing is my undoing.
Before I even know what is happening, my orgasm breaks free and I start coming. I pull my mouth away from hers and bury my face in her neck. Normally I will hold myself still as I start to unload so I can concentrate on the feeling, but I have no control over my body at this point. My hips continue to slam against her and every stroke seems to suck more and more semen out of me until I feel absolutely drained by the experience.
I hope she can hold my weight, because I absolutely can’t. I drop down on top of her, completely boneless and so satisfied, I don’t have one single worry within me. The gray is gone and I feel…bright inside.
Yeah…we’re going to do this again. At least once more tonight and very often thereafter. I am not fucking giving this up now that I’ve felt the beauty of it.
But I have to set the boundaries first.
Garnering what little strength I have left, I manage to lift off Kate and put my weight on one elbow. My cock is still semihard and lodged within her. If I didn’t have to dispose of the condom, I bet if I started moving again, I could get fully hard pretty quick.
But boundaries first.
Kate’s hand plays in my hair now, using her fingers to gently twirl the ends. Her smile is satisfied and her eyes are gentle.
“You okay?” I ask her.
“Mmmm. Hmmm,” she hums in her throat.
“Kate?”
Her eyes clear a little and her hand goes still in my hair. “Yes?”
“This can’t go anywhere.”
Her brows draw inward and she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth to nibble at it thoughtfully. “You mean…this was a onetime-only thing?”
I shake my head…almost violently, so she knows that’s not what I mean. “I don’t want this to be just one time. But…it’s just sex for me. It’s not a relationship.”
Her eyes flick back and forth between my own, absorbing the harsh nature of my words even though I tried to gentle them as much as possible.
“Are you going to have sex with other women while you’re having sex with me?” she asks tentatively.
“No,” I say quickly. “I don’t want to. I’m not ready—”
I stop…recalculate my words. Give them to her again in a more candid fashion. “Kate…I wasn’t looking for a sexual relationship. I didn’t think I was ready, and this just sort of happened. I’m not looking to go out and nail every piece of…well, you know what I mean. It would be just you.”
She nods in acknowledgment. “Monogamous.”
“Yes, monogamous,” I affirm.
“Well, I hate to contradict your earlier statement, but I’m sorry…that’s a relationship,” she points out. And she doesn’t do this in a way that makes me feel like she’s latching on to me. She’s merely pointing out a technical truth.
“Fair enough,” I tell her. “Then let me clarify…my feelings won’t develop into anything more than desire for you. You can’t be expecting that from me.”
“Then I won’t,” she says simply.
My head tilts and I look at her skeptically. “Just that easy?”
“Your expectations are clear. I know the boundaries. It’s just sex,” she says.
“And that’s okay with you?” I ask her, desperate to make sure she truly understands this.
“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “I can’t predict how that will make me feel. But I’m willing to give it a try if you are. If I can’t handle it, then you’ll be the first to know.”
I stare at Kate…marveling over her maturity and insight. Is that because of her tough upbringing? The fact she’s a survivor all on her own? And her honesty…it’s frightening and refreshing all at once. I truly believe her…if she has a problem with how things are going, she’ll let me know. I expect she’d be very mature about the whole thing too.
“Okay, then,” I say before bending down to kiss her. “Let’s give it a go.”
I feel comforted by Kate’s words…by her acceptance of my limits. And yet deep down inside, I know it’s never going to be as easy as it sounds.
Chapter 16
Kate
“Ben,” I call up the stairs. “Grab your tennis shoes and get down here. Bus is leaving soon.”
I hear stomping above me as I imagine him running from his playroom to his bedroom to grab his shoes. He’s such a great kid.
Don’t get me wrong, he has his moments. In fact, his newest “moment” is what I call the “drop-and-kick tantrum.”