“Your Honor, Jacob Sachs for the United States.”
“Judith Steinberg for Joseph DiBono”
“Lily Adler for the Commonwealth,” I added, walking to the bench with just as much confidence as the other attorneys standing there, even if it was an act. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Adam turn around so fast I was worried he might get whiplash. “Your Honor, I don’t have a copy of the motion for removal.”
“It’s an oral motion,” Jacob said, looking a bit stunned, but quickly recovering. “We didn’t brief it because we didn’t anticipate an objection.”
“Well, then I’m afraid that counsel was not adequately prepared, because the Commonwealth objects.” Jacob set his jaw and narrowed his eyes, but it wasn’t anger I saw there; it was anticipation. He was sizing me up like a tiger sizing up an antelope, or whatever the hell tigers eat.
“Pardon me, counselor, but if this case stays in Common Pleas, who’s going to try it, you?” He gave me the most arrogantly dismissive smirk I had ever seen, and my blood boiled. He was being rather condescending to a person who had seen him naked. Not that he had anything to be ashamed of. He actually looked rather good naked.
“And if it goes up to federal court, counselor, who’s going to try it there, you?” I asked, giving him exactly the same look. His mouth literally popped open and his eyes flashed with what I could swear was excitement. I had a feeling that maybe he was actually picturing me naked at that very moment.
“Excuse me! Your Honor, may I have a word with my colleague?” Adam interrupted. Great. I turned around and found him giving me a deceptively friendly smile.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Go ahead, Mr. Roth,” Judge Channing said, looking kind of intrigued. Adam walked off to the side of the courtroom and I reluctantly followed. When I got there, he leaned in close and whispered to me.
“Okay, first of all, you’re going to get some phenomenal sexing tonight for that comment you just made to Sachs, and secondly, what the f**k are you doing?!”
“Arguing a motion.”
“Against a federal prosecutor and your mother?!”
“Technically, she hasn’t joined in the motion yet,” I pointed out.
“Lily, are you nuts? This isn’t the place to work out your family issues.”
“I’m not working them out. I fully intend to beat her.”
“She’s a career litigator, and she’s your mother!”
“Adam, my family is not like your family. She won’t see me as her daughter. She’ll see me as her opponent. She won’t hesitate to try to take me down. I want to stand up against her in the only way that matters to her. I want to prove to myself that I can.”
“And how is that not working out your family issues?” he observed, accurately I might add. I wasn’t in the mood to be reasonable, though, and I just huffed and looked away, angrily. “Okay, look,” he relented, “you think you have an argument, go ahead and make it.”
“You don’t think I have a chance, do you?”
“It’s not because I don’t think you’re smart or capable. It’s because you’re taking on an assistant U.S. attorney and woman who has about thirty years of courtroom experience and yesterday you were a law librarian.”
“I don’t have anything to lose and the guy who gave it to me, said I could keep it.”
“Lily, it’s a felony trial, not a puppy!”
“It’s related to Moretti. If I win the motion you can try it, and I’ll be your second chair.”
“You nutty broad.” He shook his head but I could see he looked both amused, and yes, just a little impressed. With that, I returned to battle.
“I would like to ask that defense counsel declare a conflict of interest for the record,” I said as I took my place again.
“While Ms. Adler was chatting, I spoke with my client and informed him that the assistant district attorney in this case is my daughter.”
“Your what?” Jacob interrupted.
“I also informed him that she would not be prosecuting it, as it will be removed to federal court, but that even if she were, it would not interfere with my ability to represent him zealously.”
“For the record Ms. Steinberg,” Judge Channing said irritably, “I’ll decide if this case goes to federal court or not. And so, Mr. DiBono,” he addressed the defendant, “you’re willing to waive the conflict of interest and you’re satisfied that Ms. Steinberg can represent you zealously?”
“Her? Oh yeah. Hey, are you kidding? I’m surprised she didn’t eat her young. Know what I’m saying?”
“Mr. DiBono obviously knows my mother well, Your Honor, being her client I mean.” I glanced over at Adam, who looked like he wanted to laugh. I also noted that everyone else in the courtroom also seemed to be paying rapt attention to the little drama that was unfolding.
“For the record,” Jacob said with a smirk and an evil glint in his eye, “I’ll state that I am zealously able to put forward the position of the United States, despite the fact that Ms. Adler and I have been intimate in the past.” I guess he didn’t appreciate my snappy comeback as much as Adam did. Speaking of Adam, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him leap to his feet.
“Adam Roth, co-counsel for the Commonwealth. Your Honor, Mr. Sachs knows that’s not a conflict any more due to the fact that Ms. Adler and I are presently intimate.”
“You don’t have an adversarial relationship with her,” Jacob said, turning to Adam.
“And you don’t have any relationship with her,” Adam shot back.
“Is there anyone who hasn’t had an intimate relationship with Ms. Adler?” my mother asked, sarcastically.
“Yes. You,” I answered angrily.
“Order!” Judge Channing sputtered, banging his gavel. “This is a court of law, not The Jerry Springer Show! Now, Mr. Sachs, if you want this case removed over the Commonwealth’s objection, you’ll need to file a written motion and brief it. We’ll set a date for argument. Ms. Steinberg, you can join in the motion if you choose. The defendant has waived the conflict of interest with regard to Ms. Steinberg being Ms. Adler’s mother. There is no other conflict.” He gave Jacob a reproving look. “Court is in recess. Five minutes!” With that, he banged his gavel again and stormed off the bench.