“How do you feel about Ethan?” Trey asked.
She stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“Do you love him?”
“He’s my best friend. Well, you are too. You’re both my best friends.”
“We’re also your lovers.”
“If I tell you I love him, will you break up with me?”
Trey chuckled softly. “Sweetheart, you’re the one who is trying too hard. You can love him. It’s not like you can help it, and he’s a wonderful man. He treats you well. He’d do anything for you. You’ve been through a lot together.”
“Do you love him?” Reagan asked.
“I like him.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
“Do you think you could love a man?”
Trey needed to tell her his deepest remaining secret. He trusted her with it. He wasn’t sure if she’d accept it or understand, but if he expected her to be open and honest about everything then he had to treat her with the same respect. “I do love a man.”
“Do? Or did?”
“Do. I’ll never stop loving him, but he’s out of reach.”
“What’s his name?”
His stomach clenched with apprehension. For a moment, he considered making up some random name. “Brian.”
“Brian?” Reagan’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean Brian Sinclair?”
“Yeah.”
Reagan stared up at him in stunned disbelief and then burst out laughing. “Good one, Trey. You had me going there for a minute.”
He spilled his guts to her and she thought he was joking? Nice. He rolled off of her and lay beside her on the bed on his back. He pressed against his eyelids with a thumb and middle finger to force all of the hurt and hopelessness back down where it belonged.
Reagan straddled his hips and pulled his hand from his face. “You’re serious.”
He swallowed, knowing better than to speak, not that he could have around the huge knot in his throat.
“He’s married, Trey.”
Trey rolled his eyes and grasped at sarcasm. It made it easier to continue. “I know. I was at the wedding.”
“Does he know how you feel about him?”
“No.”
“You never told him?”
Trey shook his head.
“How long have you felt this way about him?”
Forever. Trey had always felt like they’d known each other before they’d been born. At least spiritually. “For over ten years.”
“You have to tell him, Trey.”
“What, like he’s going to give up Myrna for me?”
She stroked his hair from his forehead. “Is that what you want?”
He bit his lip and shook his head. “No. I want him to be happy. I want to get over him.”
“And to do that, you have to tell him. Talk to him about it. See how he reacts.”
“I don’t want it to ruin our friendship.”
Reagan drew her thumb under his eye and collected a tear he didn’t realize was there. He wasn’t sure how she would respond to her devil-may-care boyfriend getting all emotional and stupid over her favorite guitar hero.
“Brian isn’t like that, Trey. You know that.”
“He doesn’t have time for me anymore, anyway. What does it matter?” He rolled onto his side and unseated her so she tumbled onto the bed beside him.
She rose to sit next to him Indian-style on the bed. “Thanks for the invite.”
“Invite?”
“To your pity party.”
Trey grimaced. He did this every once in a while. Fell into despair. The problem was instead of dealing with things, he had the tendency to bury his problems and pretend they didn’t affect him.
“Are you going to talk to Brian about your feelings?”
“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”
“Well, I’m in the party mood now. Let’s go have some fun.”
“I thought you were tired.”
“I’ve just caught my second wind.”
She climbed to her feet and found the combat boots she’d been forbidden to wear onstage. They didn’t complement her outfit, but they were totally Reagan and brought a smile to Trey’s face and his heart.
“Come on, mopey,” she said, tugging on his hand until he relented and climbed out of bed. “Let’s go party like rock stars.”
Chapter 31
Reagan held Trey’s hand as they entered the hotel’s reception hall. She didn’t really want to party like a rock star, but Trey was a social creature and he looked like he needed some adulation and excitement. Also, she felt bad for laughing about his love for Brian. It was obviously something that weighed heavily on him. She wasn’t sure how to handle that part of Trey. He always seemed to know how to get exactly what he wanted out of life. It must be hard for him to be so close to Brian, yet so far away.
She spotted Dare near the entrance, looking bored, though he was surrounded by enthusiastic admirers. He had this way of answering people in a minimum number of words, yet making them feel like he was imparting the secrets of the universe. Reagan knew Trey depended on his brother for support more than any other person on the planet, unfortunately herself included, so she headed in Dare’s direction, hoping that he could bring Trey comfort. Or tell her how to comfort him.
Dare smiled when he noticed them heading in his direction. “Excuse me.” Two words and his crowd dispersed as if Dare had erected an impenetrable bubble around himself.
“Back so soon?” He took a sip of his beverage and looked from Reagan to Trey and back to Reagan.
“She wanted to party like a rock star,” Trey said. He waved at someone across the room who was waving both arms wildly over her head to get his attention.
“Then you should go get her a drink,” Dare said to Trey.
“What do you want?” Trey asked her.
“Something stiff.”
“I would have given you something stiff upstairs, but you wanted to come back down to the party.”
“If you would have gone down while we were upstairs, I would have come,” she countered.
Trey laughed and kissed her on the cheek before hurrying toward the bar. A wave of people followed in his wake. Unlike his brother, he didn’t have the skill set to keep them at bay. Or maybe he didn’t want to. He seemed to relish the attention of the horde surrounding him.
“Something wrong?” Dare asked. Someone approached them and he lifted one finger from his glass. The man paused in midstride and turned in the opposite direction.