“I almost took one of your pills a few minutes ago. I sat on the floor and held the bottle in my hand. It took everything inside of me not to take one, or hell, more than one.”
Simon closed his eyes. Fuck. That was on him. He shouldn’t have even kept them in the house. “But you didn’t. That’s what matters. You didn’t. I see that as a success, Trev. Nothing more.”
Simon moved slowly. He crawled over Trevor and tucked himself in behind him. Wrapped an arm around his waist, the front of his body molded to the back of Trevor’s.
And he knew right then that he loved the man. No question. He would do anything for him. Seeing him hurt like this broke Simon. He wanted to fix it. Would do whatever he could to make it go away.
His mouth was close to Trevor’s ear when he whispered, “You’re strong. You can do this. You’re doing it. And I’m right here every step of the way.”
Trevor didn’t reply, and Simon didn’t move. He just held him. Wanted Trevor to know he was there.
“We can go to a meeting. I’ll go with you, or you can go alone. If you want me to call someone, I can do that too. What do you need?” He was so out of his element here. He’d never dealt with this. “What do you need, Trev? Whatever it is, I’ll give it to you.”
Trevor rolled over, and on top of Simon. “I just want to be okay. I want to forget about everything else. I just want you.”
And then his lips came down on Simon’s. Simon opened for him, let Trevor’s tongue invade his mouth.
This was probably wrong. The wrong thing to do at the wrong time, but he couldn’t say no...because Trevor needed him, and he needed Trevor right now too. Needed to feel close to him, because seeing Trevor broken like this rocked Simon to his core.
Trevor was the strong one between them. He knew that, and it did something to his insides, something he’d never experienced to see Trevor so lost.
He needed Trevor back, wanted to pull him away from the edge and hold him. Keep him safe.
He would do anything for him.
Simon was in love with him.
CHAPTER FORTY
Trevor didn’t stop kissing Simon. He wanted his mouth on him, his tongue in him, until he forgot who he was. Forgot that he was the man who, moments ago, sat shaking on the bathroom floor because he wanted a stupid fucking pill so badly. He wanted to be in a place where nothing existed except the way Simon made him feel.
They always had this, the bed, where it didn’t matter who they were. Where it didn’t matter that Trevor was recovering, or that Simon was older or a doctor, or any of the other differences they had between them.
And Trevor needed to hold onto that.
Simon wrapped his arms around Trevor’s waist, squeezed him tightly, and Trevor kept kissing. Kept himself familiar with every inch of Simon’s mouth.
But he wanted more, needed more. Needed friction and skin on skin. Wanted them to sweat together, to come together. So he slid down Simon’s body. Trevor pushed his shirt up until it reached Simon’s chest. He could take it from there.
And he did. As Trevor took care of Simon’s jeans, he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it.
That’s what he wanted. Skin. Something good, not the mess he’d just been. He ran his tongue from Simon’s balls to the tip of his erection. He tasted slightly salty, the way Trevor liked. He let out a hiss when Trevor sucked the crown and then groaned when Trevor let it pop out of his mouth again.
“Give me your mouth.” Simon told him.
“That’s what I’m doing.” He lay on Simon again. Their dicks rubbed together as Trevor rut against him, kissing Simon again. Jesus, sober sex was so much better. He hadn’t realized before how much he loved just kissing, touching, rubbing off on each other. His cock slid between Simon’s crotch and leg, before rubbing against his shaft again.
Simon’s palms tried to cup his ass, to pull him closer, but Trevor could tell it was hard with his hand. He felt the tape and bandages rubbing his skin.
He kissed Simon’s neck. “Don’t. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“I don’t really care right now.”
But he did. Trevor knew he did, so he grabbed Simon’s right arm and pulled it over Simon’s head. “Yes, you do. And I care too.”
Trevor pushed up, using his forearms to hold himself up so he could see the space between them. See his dick meet Simon’s as they thrust against each other.
He wanted this. Fuck, he only wanted a normal life. To work, and come home and make love to Simon every night without having to stress about meetings and sobriety. But that wasn’t what he had. It wasn’t Trevor’s reality.