Those words were everything to him. He needed to hear them, needed to believe them. Because he loved Simon... loved him with all he had. And he wanted to be able to love himself too.
Simon started, “I—”
“Don’t,” Trevor cut him off. “Not yet. Let’s not do this yet.” Whether Simon knew it or not, he needed time. They both did.
Simon seemed to understand. He watched, standing close to Trevor as Trevor dumped the whiskey down the sink. He didn’t leave when Trevor flushed the heroin down the toilet.
And it felt good. Not just that Simon was there, but that he’d done it. That he hadn’t taken the drugs. That he’d asked for help. He could do this. He would become the man he always wanted to be.
***
They were silent almost the whole way to the rehab facility. Simon kept his hand on Trevor’s leg the entire time, letting Trevor know he was there for him. And he would be. Simon wasn’t walking away. Not from this man.
Since he hadn’t taken the drugs, Trevor didn’t have to do this, but Simon respected the hell out of him that he was. He hadn’t used. He’d come close, but he hadn’t, yet he took his sobriety seriously enough that he decided to come here again.
Simon pulled into the circular driveway in front of the building. It looked nice, the kind of place Simon would want for him. “I’m so damned proud of you,” he told Trevor. “You’re a stronger man than I’ve ever been.” His hand felt like nothing now. He couldn’t perform surgery? So what. He could still be a doctor. He still had a life. People dealt with things worse than Simon. He was done feeling sorry for himself.
He just wanted to live.
A woman stepped out of the building, shaded by an awning over the porch. She smiled, holding a folder in her hand. There was a fountain off to the side of the white building. Trees and flowers were everywhere.
“You’ll call Blake?” Trevor asked.
“The second I leave.”
“Shit. The business. I’m screwing him over.”
Simon squeezed Trevor’s leg. “He loves you. That’s all that matters. We’ll figure it out.” We. Because Simon was a part of this now. “I brought something for you.” Simon reached into his pocket and pulled out Trevor’s one year sober coin. “You left it at home.”
“I...” Trevor squeezed his eyes closed, and Simon could see how much this meant to him. “Keep it for me.”
“It’s yours. You earned this,” Simon told him.
“I want you to have it. I have to go.” Trevor opened the door and got out. Simon couldn’t stop himself from doing the same.
He met Trevor on the other side of the car before he could walk away and pulled him into a hug. “I love you,” he whispered in Trevor’s ear. Fuck waiting. He wanted to make sure Trevor knew now. He’d done enough keeping quiet, enough holding his emotions inside. “No matter what, I love you and I’m here. I’ll be waiting for you.”
Trevor tensed up and then relaxed against him. “Yeah?” he asked.
“Yeah. No matter how long it takes. And if you aren’t ready when you get out, I’ll still be waiting for when you are.”
His whole life he’d never felt like he had anyone to love. No family, just his studies. Then he met Heather, and as great as she was, for him, she wasn’t it. He knew love now. Knew what was important, what he needed and who he was. He was Dr. Simon Malone, and Trevor was all he needed.
Trevor’s hand tightened in Simon’s shirt as he squeezed him tighter. “I have to go.”
And then he pulled back. Simon watched until he got almost to the porch, stopped, and turned to him. “I love you, too. Pick me up in thirty days?”
Simon smiled. “I’ll be here.”
EPILOGUE
One year later
“Trevor! Simon! Can one of you help me? My hands are full.”
Trevor stepped into the living room to help his mom, just as Simon made it to her. “I got it.” After taking a couple of the bags from her, Simon leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “We’re glad you could make it.”
“Pfft.” She swatted his arm. “Like I would miss it.”
Trevor enjoyed watching Simon with her. They’d become family. Hell, sometimes his mom called and didn’t even ask to speak with Trevor—just Simon.
“Come on, let’s get this stuff into the kitchen. The cake needs to go into the fridge. You can help me get the appetizers ready if you want,” his mom told Simon.