“You probably mean Scully Pike.”
“That’s it! We tried to climb it, but the weather took a turn. Nearly fell off the bloody thing.”
“It can be dangerous,” says Jess. “You have to know what you’re doing. Idiots come up from the south and get in all sorts of trouble.”
“That’s me,” Gary says cheerfully. “But it’s worth it for the scenery. Those drystone walls are spectacular,” he adds to Luke. “Like works of art. Miles and miles of them, strung out across the countryside.”
I’m listening to the conversation in total fascination. I’d love to get to know a bit of rural England a bit better. I’d love to see some drystone walls. I mean, all I know is London and Surrey, which is practically London anyway.
“We should buy a cottage in Cumbria!” I say enthusiastically. “In Jess’s village! Then we could see you all the time,” I add to Jess. “Wouldn’t that be great?”
There’s quite a long silence.
“Yes,” says Jess at last. “Great.”
“I don’t think we’ll be buying any cottages in the near future,” says Luke. “We’re on a budget, remember?”
“Yes, I know,” I retort. “And I’m sticking to it, aren’t I?”
“Well, yes,” says Luke. “Incredibly, you are.” He looks at the tin of Fortnum biscuits on the counter. “Although, quite frankly, I have no idea how you’re managing it.” He opens the fridge. “Look at all this. Stuffed olives… smoked lobster… and this is supposed to be on a budget?”
I can’t help feeling a little glow of pride. All that food is courtesy of selling those Tiffany clocks! I was so delighted, I went straight out and bought a big hamperful of all Luke’s favorite things.
“Just a question of good household management,” I say nonchalantly.
“Hmm.” Luke gives me a suspicious look, then turns to Gary. “We must get on.”
The two men head out of the kitchen, and I’m left alone with Jess. I perch on a bar stool opposite her.
“So!” I say. “What would you like to do?”
“I’m easy,” Jess says with a shrug.
“It’s up to you! Totally!”
“I don’t really mind.” Jess sips her tea.
The kitchen is still and quiet, apart from the tap dripping slowly into the sink.
Which is fine. This is just one of those companionable, quiet moments you can have with members of your family. In fact, it shows we’re easy with each other. It’s not remotely awkward or anything—
Oh God, speak. Please.
“I’d like to do some weight training,” says Jess suddenly. “I normally work out every day. But I haven’t had time this week.”
“Right!” I say in delight. “That’s a brilliant idea! I’ll do it too!”
“Really?” Jess looks surprised.
“Of course!” I take a final sip of tea, then put my cup down. “I’ll just go and get ready!”
What a marvelous idea. Doing exercise together will be totally bonding! We can go to Taylor’s Health Club round the corner, where I’m a gold member, do a bit of a workout, and then head to the juice bar. I know the juice bar will be open, because I’ve been there loads of times before at about this hour of the day.
And I should think the gym bit will be open too, downstairs.
Or is it upstairs?
Anyway. Wherever it is.
I yank open my wardrobe doors and pull out my drawer full of gym kit. I could wear my Juicy tracksuit, except I might get too hot… or that really cool pink top, except I’ve seen a girl in the juice bar wearing the same exact one…
At last I select some black leggings with retro piping up the sides, plus a white T-shirt and my fab hi-tech trainers that I got in the States. They cost quite a lot, but then, as the leaflet points out, they are biomechanically balanced with a dual-density midsole. Plus their advanced engineering means you can take them seamlessly from the marathon track to the outdoor terrain of the trail hike.
I quickly put on the whole outfit, tie my hair up in a ponytail, and add my cool Adidas sports watch. (Which just shows how wrong Luke is. I knew I would need a sports watch one day.) I hurry to the guest room and knock on the door.
“Hi!”
“Come in.” Jess’s voice sounds muffled and kind of weird. Cautiously I push open the door. She’s changed into old gray shorts and a cropped T-shirt and to my surprise is lying on the floor.
Doing sit-ups, I suddenly realize as her entire torso rises off the ground. Blimey. She’s quite good at them. And I’ve never seen such a muscled stomach, except in a Cindy Crawford video.