Jude the Obsure - Page 115/318

"I shall always care for you!" said Jude.

"And I for you. Because you are single-hearted, and forgiving to

your faulty and tiresome little Sue!"

He looked away, for that epicene tenderness of hers was too

harrowing. Was it that which had broken the heart of the poor

leader-writer; and was he to be the next one? ... But Sue was so

dear! ... If he could only get over the sense of her sex, as she

seemed to be able to do so easily of his, what a comrade she would

make; for their difference of opinion on conjectural subjects only

drew them closer together on matters of daily human experience. She

was nearer to him than any other woman he had ever met, and he could

scarcely believe that time, creed, or absence, would ever divide him

from her.

But his grief at her incredulities returned. They sat on till she

fell asleep again, and he nodded in his chair likewise. Whenever

he aroused himself he turned her things, and made up the fire anew.

About six o'clock he awoke completely, and lighting a candle, found

that her clothes were dry. Her chair being a far more comfortable

one than his she still slept on inside his great-coat, looking warm

as a new bun and boyish as a Ganymede. Placing the garments by her

and touching her on the shoulder he went downstairs, and washed

himself by starlight in the yard.

V

When he returned she was dressed as usual.

"Now could I get out without anybody seeing me?" she asked. "The

town is not yet astir."

"But you have had no breakfast."

"Oh, I don't want any! I fear I ought not to have run away from that

school! Things seem so different in the cold light of morning, don't

they? What Mr. Phillotson will say I don't know! It was quite by

his wish that I went there. He is the only man in the world for whom

I have any respect or fear. I hope he'll forgive me; but he'll scold

me dreadfully, I expect!"

"I'll go to him and explain--" began Jude.

"Oh no, you shan't. I don't care for him! He may think what he

likes--I shall do just as I choose!"

"But you just this moment said--"

"Well, if I did, I shall do as I like for all him! I have thought of

what I shall do--go to the sister of one of my fellow-students in the

training-school, who has asked me to visit her. She has a school

near Shaston, about eighteen miles from here--and I shall stay there

till this has blown over, and I get back to the training-school

again."