Jude the Obsure - Page 185/318

He could never resist her when she pleaded (as she well knew). And

they sat side by side with joined hands, till she aroused herself at

some thought.

"I can't possibly go to that Temperance Inn, after your telegraphing

that message!"

"Why not?"

"You can see well enough!"

"Very well; there'll be some other one open, no doubt. I have

sometimes thought, since your marrying Phillotson because of a stupid

scandal, that under the affectation of independent views you are as

enslaved to the social code as any woman I know!"

"Not mentally. But I haven't the courage of my views, as I said

before. I didn't marry him altogether because of the scandal.

But sometimes a woman's LOVE OF BEING LOVED gets the better of her

conscience, and though she is agonized at the thought of treating a

man cruelly, she encourages him to love her while she doesn't love

him at all. Then, when she sees him suffering, her remorse sets in,

and she does what she can to repair the wrong."

"You simply mean that you flirted outrageously with him, poor old

chap, and then repented, and to make reparation, married him, though

you tortured yourself to death by doing it."

"Well--if you will put it brutally!--it was a little like that--that

and the scandal together--and your concealing from me what you ought

to have told me before!"

He could see that she was distressed and tearful at his criticisms,

and soothed her, saying: "There, dear; don't mind! Crucify me, if

you will! You know you are all the world to me, whatever you do!"

"I am very bad and unprincipled--I know you think that!" she said,

trying to blink away her tears.

"I think and know you are my dear Sue, from whom neither length nor

breadth, nor things present nor things to come, can divide me!"

Though so sophisticated in many things she was such a child in others

that this satisfied her, and they reached the end of their journey

on the best of terms. It was about ten o'clock when they arrived at

Aldbrickham, the county town of North Wessex. As she would not go

to the Temperance Hotel because of the form of his telegram, Jude

inquired for another; and a youth who volunteered to find one wheeled

their luggage to the George farther on, which proved to be the inn at

which Jude had stayed with Arabella on that one occasion of their

meeting after their division for years.