Athalie - Page 148/222

"I shot him," said Clive.

"I thought so." She turned and dropped back among her pillows.

"You see," she said, listlessly, "I can never seem to find you, Clive.

Sometimes I suspect your presence. But I am never certain.... Why is

it that a girl can't find the man she cares for most in the whole

world?"

"Do you care for me as much as that?"

"Why, yes," she said, a trifle surprised.

"And do you think I return your--regard--in measure?"

She looked at him curiously, then, with her engaging and fearless

smile: "Quantum suff," she said. "You know you oughtn't to care

too much for me, Clive."

"How much is too much?"

"You know," she said, watching his face, the smile still lingering on

her lips.

"No, I don't. Tell me."

"I'll inform you when it's necessary."

"It's necessary now."

"No, it isn't."

"I'm afraid it is."

There was a silence. She lay watching him for a moment longer while

the smile in her eyes slowly died out. Then, all in a moment, a swift

change altered her expression; and she sat up on the couch, supporting

herself on both hands.

"What is happening to you, Clive!" she said almost breathlessly.

"Nothing new."

"What do you mean?"

"Shall I tell you?"

"Of course."

"Then,"--but he could not say it. He had no business to, and he knew

it. It was the one thing he could refrain from saying, for her sake;

the one service he could now render her.

He sat staring into space, the iron grimness of self-control locking

every fetter that he wore--must always wear now.

She waited, her eyes intent on his face, her colour high, heart rapid.

"What had you to say to me?" she asked, breaking the silence.

He forced a laugh: "Nothing--except that sometimes being with you

again makes me--very contented--"

"Is that what you had to say?"

"Yes. I told you it was nothing new."

She lowered her gaze and remained silent for a moment, apparently

considering what he had said. Then the uplifted candour of her eyes

questioned him again: "You don't imagine yourself in love with me again, do you, Clive?"

"No."

"Nothing like that could happen to you again, could it?... Because it

has not yet happened to me. It couldn't.... And it would be too--too

ghastly if you--if anything--"