Athalie - Page 149/222

"Don't talk about it that way!" he said sharply. "If it did

happen--what of it?"... He forced a smile. "But it won't happen....

Things like that don't happen to people like you and me. We care too

much for each other, don't we, Athalie?"

"Yes.... It would be terrible.... I don't know why I put such ideas

into your head--or into my own. But you--there was something in your

expression.... Oh, Clive, dear, it couldn't happen to you, could

it?"

She leaned forward impulsively and put both hands on his shoulders,

gazing into his eyes, searching them fearfully for any trace of what

she thought for a moment she had seen in them.

He said gaily enough: "No fear, dear. I'm exactly what I always have

been. I'll always be what you want me to be, Athalie."

"I know.... But if ever--"

"No, no! Nothing can ever happen to worry you--"

"But if--"

"Nothing shall happen!"

"I know. But if ever it does--"

"It won't."

"Oh, Clive, listen! If it does happen to you, what will you do?"

"Do?"

"Yes.... If it does happen, what will you do, Clive?"

"But--"

"Answer me!"

"I--"

"Please answer me. What will you do about it?"

"Nothing," he said, flushing.

"Why not?"

"Why not? What is there--what would there be to do? What could I have

to say to you if--"

"You could say that you loved me--if you did."

"To what purpose?" he demanded, red and astonished.

"To whatever purpose you followed.... Why shouldn't you tell me? If it

ever happened that you fell in love with me again I had rather you

told me than that you kept silent. I had rather know it than have it

happen and never know it. Is there anything wrong in a man if he

happens to fall in love with a girl?"

"He can remain silent, anyway."

"Why? Because he cannot marry her?"

"Yes."

"If you ever fell in love with me--would you wish to marry me?"

"If I ever did," he said, "I'd go through hell to marry you."

She considered him, curiously, as though trying to realise something

inconceivable.

"I do not think of you that way," she said. "I do not think of you

sentimentally at all.... Only that I care for you--deeply. I don't

believe it's in me to love. I mean--as the world defines love.... So

don't fall in love with me, Clive.... But, if you ever do, tell me."