Beulah - Page 153/348

He paused, for something about her face rather disconcerted him, and

he took her hand again in his.

"How could you expect to find me there, after reading my last

letter?"

"I still hoped that your good sense would prevent your taking such

an extraordinary step."

She smiled icily, and answered: "Is it so extraordinary, then, that I should desire to maintain my

self-respect?"

"It would not have been compromised by remaining where you were."

"I should scorn myself were I willing to live idly on the bounty of

one upon whom I have no claim."

"You are morbidly fastidious, Beulah."

Her eyes flashed, and, snatching her hand from his, she asked, with

curling lips: "Eugene, if I prefer to teach for a support, why

should you object?"

"Simply because you are unnecessarily lowering yourself in the

estimation of the community. You will find that the circle which a

residence under Dr. Hartwell's roof gave you the entree of, will

look down with contempt upon a subordinate teacher in a public

school--"

"Then, thank Heaven, I am forever shut out from that circle! Is my

merit to be gauged by the cost of my clothes or the number of

fashionable parties I attend, think you?"

"Assuredly, Beulah, the things you value so lightly are the

standards of worth and gentility in the community you live in, as

you will unfortunately find."

She looked at him steadily, with grief, and scorn, and wonder in her

deep, searching eyes, as she exclaimed: "Oh, Eugene! what has changed you so, since the bygone years when in

the asylum we talked of the future? of laboring, conquering, and

earning homes for ourselves! Oh, has the foul atmosphere of foreign

lands extinguished all your selfrespect? Do you come back sordid and

sycophantic, and the slave of opinions you would once have utterly

detested? Have you narrowed your soul and bowed down before the

miserable standard which every genuine, manly spirit must loathe?

Oh! has it come to this? Has it come to this?" Her voice was broken

and bitter, scalding tears of shame and grief gushed over her

cheeks.

"This fierce recrimination and unmerited tirade is not exactly the

welcome I was prepared to expect," returned Eugene haughtily; and,

rising, he took his hat from the table. She rose also, but made no

effort to detain him, and leaned her head against the mantelpiece.

He watched her a moment, then approached and put his hand on her

shoulder.

"Beulah, as a man I see the world and its relations in a far

different light from that in which I viewed it while a boy."