Beulah - Page 154/348

"It is utterly superfluous to tell me so!" replied Beulah bitterly.

"I grapple with realities now, and am forced to admit the expediency

of prudent policy. You refuse to see things in their actual

existence and prefer toying with romantic dreams. Beulah, I have

awakened from these since we parted."

She put up her hand deprecatingly, and answered: "Then let me dream on! let me dream on!"

"Beulah, I have been sadly mistaken in my estimate of your

character. I could not have believed there was so much fierce

obstinacy, so much stubborn pride, in your nature."

She instantly lifted her head, and their eyes met. Other days came

back to both; early confidence, mutual love and dependence. For a

moment his nobler impulses prevailed, and, with an unsteady lip, he

passed his arm quickly around her. But she drew coldly back, and

said: "It seems we are mutually disappointed in each other. I regret that

the discharge of my duty should so far conflict with your opinions

and standard of propriety as to alienate us so completely as it

seems likely to do. All my life I have looked to you for guidance

and counsel; but to-night you have shaken my trust, and henceforth I

must depend upon my own heart to support me in my work. Oh, Eugene!

friend of my childhood! beware lest you sink yourself in your own

estimation! Oh, for days, and months, and years I have pictured the

hour of your return, little dreaming that it would prove one of the

saddest of my life! I have always looked up to you. Oh, Eugene!

Eugene! you are not what you were! Do not! oh, do not make me pity

you! That would kill me!" She covered her face with her hands, and

shuddered convulsively.

"I am not so changed as you think me," returned Eugene proudly.

"Then, in earlier years I was miserably deceived in your character.

For the sake of wealth, and what the world calls 'position,' you

have sold yourself. In lieu of his gold and influence Mr. Graham has

your will, your conscience. Ah, Eugene! how can you bear to be a

mere tool in his hands?"

"Beulah, your language, your insinuations are unpardonable! By

Heaven, no one but yourself might utter them, and not even you can

do so with impunity! If you choose to suffer your foolish pride and

childish whims to debar you from the enviable position in society

which Dr. Hartwell would gladly confer on you--why, you have only

yourself to censure. But my situation in Mr. Graham's family has

long been established. He has ever regarded me as his son, treated

me as such, and as such I feel bound to be guided by him in my

choice of a profession. Beulah, I have loved you well, but such

another exhibition of scorn and bitterness will indeed alienate us.

Since you have set aside my views and counsel in the matter of

teaching, I shall not again refer to it, I promise you. I have no

longer the wish to control your actions, even had I the power. But,

remember, since the hour you stood beside your father's grave,

leaning on me, I have been constantly your friend. My expostulations

were for what I considered your good. Beulah, I am still, to you,

the Eugene of other days. It will be your own fault if the sanctity

of our friendship is not maintained."