Chance - Page 204/275

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Possessed by most strong men's touching illusion as to the frailness of

women and their spiritual fragility, it seemed to Anthony that he would

be destroying, breaking something very precious inside that being. In

fact nothing less than partly murdering her. This seems a very extreme

effect to flow from Fyne's words. But Anthony, unaccustomed to the

chatter of the firm earth, never stayed to ask himself what value these

words could have in Fyne's mouth. And indeed the mere dark sound of them

was utterly abhorrent to his native rectitude, sea-salted, hardened in

the winds of wide horizons, open as the day.

He wished to blurt out his indignation but she regarded him with an

expectant air which checked him. His visible discomfort made her uneasy.

He could only repeat "Oh yes. You are perfectly honest. You might have,

but I dare say you are right. At any rate you have never said anything

to me which you didn't mean."

"Never," she whispered after a pause.

He seemed distracted, choking with an emotion she could not understand

because it resembled embarrassment, a state of mind inconceivable in that

man.

She wondered what it was she had said; remembering that in very truth she

had hardly spoken to him except when giving him the bare outline of her

story which he seemed to have hardly had the patience to hear, waving it

perpetually aside with exclamations of horror and anger, with fiercely

sombre mutters "Enough! Enough!" and with alarming starts from a forced

stillness, as though he meant to rush out at once and take vengeance on

somebody. She was saying to herself that he caught her words in the air,

never letting her finish her thought. Honest. Honest. Yes certainly

she had been that. Her letter to Mrs. Fyne had been prompted by honesty.

But she reflected sadly that she had never known what to say to him. That

perhaps she had nothing to say.

"But you'll find out that I can be honest too," he burst out in a

menacing tone, she had learned to appreciate with an amused thrill.

She waited for what was coming. But he hung in the wind. He looked

round the room with disgust as if he could see traces on the walls of all

the casual tenants that had ever passed through it. People had

quarrelled in that room; they had been ill in it, there had been misery

in that room, wickedness, crime perhaps--death most likely. This was not

a fit place. He snatched up his hat. He had made up his mind. The

ship--the ship he had known ever since she came off the stocks, his

home--her shelter--the uncontaminated, honest ship, was the place.