Chance - Page 205/275

"Let us go on board. We'll talk there," he said. "And you will have to

listen to me. For whatever happens, no matter what they say, I cannot

let you go."

You can't say that (misgivings or no misgivings) she could have done

anything else but go on board. It was the appointed business of that

morning. During the drive he was silent. Anthony was the last man to

condemn conventionally any human being, to scorn and despise even

deserved misfortune. He was ready to take old de Barral--the convict--on

his daughter's valuation without the slightest reserve. But love like

his, though it may drive one into risky folly by the proud consciousness

of its own strength, has a sagacity of its own. And now, as if lifted up

into a higher and serene region by its purpose of renunciation, it gave

him leisure to reflect for the first time in these last few days. He

said to himself: "I don't know that man. She does not know him either.

She was barely sixteen when they locked him up. She was a child. What

will he say? What will he do? No, he concluded, I cannot leave her

behind with that man who would come into the world as if out of a grave.

They went on board in silence, and it was after showing her round and

when they had returned to the saloon that he assailed her in his fiery,

masterful fashion. At first she did not understand. Then when she

understood that he was giving her her liberty she went stiff all over,

her hand resting on the edge of the table, her face set like a carving of

white marble. It was all over. It was as that abominable governess had

said. She was insignificant, contemptible. Nobody could love her.

Humiliation clung to her like a cold shroud--never to be shaken off,

unwarmed by this madness of generosity.

"Yes. Here. Your home. I can't give it to you and go away, but it is

big enough for us two. You need not be afraid. If you say so I shall

not even look at you. Remember that grey head of which you have been

thinking night and day. Where is it going to rest? Where else if not

here, where nothing evil can touch it. Don't you understand that I won't

let you buy shelter from me at the cost of your very soul. I won't. You

are too much part of me. I have found myself since I came upon you and I

would rather sell my own soul to the devil than let you go out of my

keeping. But I must have the right."