Persuasion - Page 43/178

Alas! with all her reasoning, she found, that to retentive feelings

eight years may be little more than nothing.

Now, how were his sentiments to be read? Was this like wishing to

avoid her? And the next moment she was hating herself for the folly

which asked the question.

On one other question which perhaps her utmost wisdom might not have

prevented, she was soon spared all suspense; for, after the Miss

Musgroves had returned and finished their visit at the Cottage she had

this spontaneous information from Mary:-"Captain Wentworth is not very gallant by you, Anne, though he was so

attentive to me. Henrietta asked him what he thought of you, when they

went away, and he said, 'You were so altered he should not have known

you again.'"

Mary had no feelings to make her respect her sister's in a common way,

but she was perfectly unsuspicious of being inflicting any peculiar

wound.

"Altered beyond his knowledge." Anne fully submitted, in silent, deep

mortification. Doubtless it was so, and she could take no revenge, for

he was not altered, or not for the worse. She had already acknowledged

it to herself, and she could not think differently, let him think of

her as he would. No: the years which had destroyed her youth and

bloom had only given him a more glowing, manly, open look, in no

respect lessening his personal advantages. She had seen the same

Frederick Wentworth.

"So altered that he should not have known her again!" These were words

which could not but dwell with her. Yet she soon began to rejoice that

she had heard them. They were of sobering tendency; they allayed

agitation; they composed, and consequently must make her happier.

Frederick Wentworth had used such words, or something like them, but

without an idea that they would be carried round to her. He had

thought her wretchedly altered, and in the first moment of appeal, had

spoken as he felt. He had not forgiven Anne Elliot. She had used him

ill, deserted and disappointed him; and worse, she had shewn a

feebleness of character in doing so, which his own decided, confident

temper could not endure. She had given him up to oblige others. It

had been the effect of over-persuasion. It had been weakness and

timidity.

He had been most warmly attached to her, and had never seen a woman

since whom he thought her equal; but, except from some natural

sensation of curiosity, he had no desire of meeting her again. Her

power with him was gone for ever.

It was now his object to marry. He was rich, and being turned on

shore, fully intended to settle as soon as he could be properly

tempted; actually looking round, ready to fall in love with all the

speed which a clear head and a quick taste could allow. He had a heart

for either of the Miss Musgroves, if they could catch it; a heart, in

short, for any pleasing young woman who came in his way, excepting Anne

Elliot. This was his only secret exception, when he said to his

sister, in answer to her suppositions:-"Yes, here I am, Sophia, quite ready to make a foolish match. Anybody

between fifteen and thirty may have me for asking. A little beauty,

and a few smiles, and a few compliments to the navy, and I am a lost

man. Should not this be enough for a sailor, who has had no society

among women to make him nice?"