"Cakes and ale," Helena said.
But the connection was not clear to William. "At home, there was just
plain, ugly goodness; then he met you. And he saw goodness, and other
things!"
Helena's fingers opened and closed nervously. "I wish you wouldn't
call me good," she said; "I'm not. Truly I'm not."
William laughed, looking at her with delighted eyes. "Oh, no; you are
a terrible sinner!"
At which she said with sudden, half-sobbing violence, "Oh,
don't; I can't bear it. I am not good."
The doctor sobered. This really was too near the abnormal to be safe;
he must bring her out of it. He must make her realize, not only that
she was not to blame about Sam Wright, but that the only shadow on her
goodness was this same morbid feeling that she was not good. He got up
again and stood with his back to the fire, looking down at her with
good-natured determination.
"Now look here!" he said, "conscience is a good thing; but conscience,
unrestrained by common sense, does a fine work for the devil. That
isn't original, Dr. Lavendar said it; but it's true. I wish Dr.
Lavendar knew of this morbid idea of yours about responsibility--he'd
shake it out of you! Won't you let me tell him?"
"Oh, no! no! Please don't!"
"Well, I won't; but he would tell you that it was wrong not to see
straight in this matter; it's unfair to your--to Providence," William
said. He did not use religious phrases easily, and he stumbled over
"unfair to your Heavenly Father," which was what Dr. Lavendar had said
in some such connection as this: "Recognize your privileges and be
grateful for the help they have been in making you as good as you are.
To deny what goodness you have is not humility, it's only being unfair
to your Heavenly Father." But William could not say a thing like that;
so he blundered on about Providence, while Helena sat, trembling, her
cheek on David's hair.
"You are as good as any mortal of us can be," William declared, "and
better than ninety-nine mortals in a hundred. So there! Why Mrs.
Richie"--he hesitated, and the color mounted slowly to his face; "your
loveliness of character is an inspiration to a plain man like me."
It was intolerable. With a breathless word, she rose, swaying a little
under the burden of the sleeping child; then, moving swiftly across
the room, she laid him on a sofa. David murmured something as she put
him down, but she did not stop to hear it. She came back and stood in
front of William King, gripping her hands together in a passion of
denial.