Confession - Page 20/274

And what of Julia Clifford? I have said but little of her for some

time past, but she has not been forgotten. Far from it. She was

still sufficiently the attraction that drew me to the dwelling of

my selfish uncle. In the three years that I had been at the mercantile

establishment, her progress, in mind and person, had been equally

ravishing and rapid. She was no more the child, but the blooming

girl--the delicate blossom swelling to the bud--the bud bursting into

the flower--but the bloom, and the beauty, and the innocence--the

rich tenderness, and the dewy sweet, still remained the same through

all the stages of her progress from the infant to the woman. Wealth,

and the arrogant example of those about her, had failed to change

the naturally true and pure simplicity of her character. She was

not to be beguiled by the one, nor misguided by the other, from the

exquisite heart which was still worthy of Eden. When I was admitted

to the bar at twenty-one, she was sixteen--the age in our southern

country when a maiden looks her loveliest. But I had scarcely felt

the changes in the last three years which had been going on in

her. I beheld beauties added to beauties, charms to charms; and she

seemed every day to be the possessor of fresh graces newly dropped

from heaven; but there was no change. Increased perfection does

not imply change, nor does it suffer it.

It was my custom, as the condescending wish of my uncle expressed,

that I should take my Sunday dinner with his family. I complied

with this request, and it was no hard matter to do so. But it was

a sense of delight, not of duty, that made me comply; and, but

for Julia, I feel certain that I should never have darkened the

doors, which opened to admit me only through a sense of duty. But

the attraction--scarcely known to myself--drew me with singular

punctuality; and I associated the privilege which had been accorded

me with another. I escorted the ladies to church; sometimes, too,

when the business of my employers permitted, I spent an evening

during the week with the family; and beholding Julia I was not

over-anxious to perceive the indifference with which I was treated

by all others.

But let me retrace my steps. I subdued my choler so far as to go,

with a tolerable appearance of calmness if not humility, to the

interview which my uncle had been pleased to solicit. I need not

repeat in detail what passed between us. It amounted simply to

a supercilious offer, on his part, of lodging and board, until I

should be sufficiently independent to open the oyster for myself.

I thanked him with respect and civility, but, to his surprise,

declined to accept his offer.