"But, though I think I maintained the most rigid reserve, as well
of looks as of language, this unhappy young man continued his
persecutions. In order to avoid him, I abandoned my usual labors
in the studio. From the moment when I saw that he was disposed
to abuse the privileges of friendship, I yielded that apartment
entirely to him, and invariably declined seeing him when he visited
the house in the mornings. But I could not do this at evening; and
this became finally a most severe trial, for it so happened, that
you now adopted a habit which left him entirely unrestrained, unless
in the manner of his reception by myself. You now seldom remained
at home of an evening, and thus deprived me of that natural protector
whose presence would have spared me much pain with which I will not
distress you. Ah! dearest husband, why did you leave me on such
occasions? Why did you abandon me to the two-fold affliction of
combating the approaches of impertinence, at the very moment when
I was suffering from the dreadful apprehension that I no longer
possessed those charms which had won me the affections of a husband.
Forgive me! My purpose is not to reproach, but to entreat you.
"I need not pass over the long period through which this persecution
continued. Your indifference seemed to me to give stimulus to the
perseverance of this young man. Numberless little circumstances
combined to make me think that, from this cause, indeed, he drew
something like encouragement for his audacious hopes. The strength
of your friendship for him blinded you to attentions which, it
seemed to me, every eye must have seen but yours. I grew more and
more alarmed; and a second time consulted with my mother. Her written
answer you will find, marked No. 1, with the rest of the enclosures
in this envelope. She laughed at my apprehensions, insisted that
Mr. Edgerton had not transcended the customary privileges, and
intimated, very plainly as you will see, that a wife can suffer
nothing from the admiration of a person, not her husband, however
undisguised this admiration may be--provided she herself shows
none in return;--an opinion with which I could not concur, for
the conclusive reason that, whatever the world may think on such a
subject, the object of admiration, if she has any true sensibilities,
must herself. suffer annoyance, as I did, from the special designation
which attends such peculiar and marked attention as that to which
I was subjected. My mother took much pains, verbally and in writing,
as the within letters will show you, to relieve me from the feeling
of disquiet under which I suffered, but without effect; and I was
further painfully afflicted by the impression which her general
tone of thought forced upon me, that her sense of propriety was
so loose and uncertain that I could place no future reliance upon
her councils in relation to this or any other kindred subject. Ah,
Edward! little can you guess how lonely and desolate I felt, when,
unable any longer to refer to her, I still did not dare to look to
you.