Confession - Page 73/274

In the first gush of my happiness--the ceremony being completed,

and the possession of my treasure certain--I had entirely forgotten

my Kentucky friend, whom I had locked up, in confidential TETE-A-TETE

with madam, my exemplary mother-in-law. He was a fellow with

a strong dash of humor, and could not resist the impulse to amuse

himself at the expense of the lady, by making an admirable scene

of the proceeding. He began the business by stating that he had

heard she had several negroes whom she wished to sell--that he was

anxious to buy--he did not care how many, and would give the very

best prices of any trader in the market. At his desire, all were

summoned in attendance--some three or four in number, that she

had to dispose of--all but the worthy Peter, who, under existing

circumstances, was quite too necessary to my proceedings to be

dispensed with. These were all carefully examined by the trader.

They were asked their ages, their names, their qualities; whether

they were willing to go to Kentucky, the paradise of the western

Indian, and so forth--all those questions which, in ordinary cases,

it is the custom of the purchaser to ask. They were, then dismissed,

and the Kentuckian next discussed with the lady the subject of

prices. But let the worthy fellow speak for himself:-"I was so cursed anxious," he said, "to know whether you had got

off and in safety, for I was beginning to get monstrous tired of

the old cat, that I jumped up every now and then to take a peep out

of the front window. I made an excuse to spit on such occasions--though

sometimes I forgot to do so--and then I would go back and begin

again, with something about the bargain and the terms, and whether

the negroes were honest, and sound, and all that. Well, though I

looked out as often as I well could with civility, I saw nothing

of you, and began to fear that something had happened to unsettle

the whole plan; but, after a while, I saw Peter, with his mouth drawn

back and hooked up into his ears, with his white teeth glimmering

like so many slips of moonshine in a dark night, and I then concluded

that all was as it should be. But seeing me look out so earnestly

and often, the good lady at length said:-"'I suppose, sir, your horses are in waiting. Perhaps you'd like

to have a servant to mind them.' "'No, ma'am, I'm obliged to you; but I left the hotel on foot.' "'Yes, sir,' said she, 'but I thought it might be your horses seeing

you so often look out.' "I could scarcely keep in my laughter. It did burst out into a sort

of chuckle; and, as you were then safe--I knew THAT from Peter's

jaws--I determined to have my own fun out of the old woman. So I

said--pretty much in this sort of fashion, for I longed to worry

her, and knew just how it could be done handsomest--I said:-"'The truth is, ma'am--pardon me for the slight--but really I

was quite interested--struck, as I may say, by a very suspicious

transaction that met my eyes a while ago, when I first got up to

spit from the window.' "'Ah, indeed, sir! and pray, if I may ask, what was it you saw?' "'Really very curious; but getting up to spit, and looking out

before I did so--necessary caution, ma'am--some persons might be

just under the window, you know--' "'Yes, sir, yes.' The old creature began to look and talk mighty

eager.