"'An ugly habit, ma'am--that of spitting. We Kentuckians carry it to
great excess. Foreigners, I'm told, count it monstrous vulgar--effect
of tobacco-chewing, ma'am--a deuced bad habit, I grant you, but 'tis
a habit, and there's no leaving it off, even if we would. I don't
think Kentuckians, as a people, a bit more vulgar than English, or
French, or Turks, or any other respectable people of other countries.' "'No, sir, certainly not; but the transaction--what you saw.' "Ah yes! beg pardon; but, as I was saying, something really quite
suspicious! Just as I was about to spit, when I went to the window,
some ten minutes ago--perhaps you did not observe, but I did not
spit. Good reason for it, ma'am--might have done mischief"
"How, sir?"
"Ah that brings me to the question I want to ask: any handsome
young ladies living about here, ma'am?--here, in your neighborood?"
"Why, yes, sir," answered the old tabby, with something like
surprise; there's several--there's the Masons, just opposite: the
Bagbys, next door to them below, and Mr. Wilford's daughter: all
of them would be considered pretty by some persons. On the same
side with us, there's Mrs. Freeman and her two daughters, but the
widow is accounted by many the youngest looking and prettiest of
the whole, though, to my thinking, that's saying precious little for
any. Next door to us is a Mr. and Mrs. Gibbs, who have a daughter,
and she IS rather pretty, but I don't know much about them. It might
be a mother's vanity, sir, but I think I may be proud of having a
daughter myself, who is about as pretty as any of the best among
them; and that's saying a great deal less for her than might be
said."
"Ah, indeed--you a daughter, ma'am? But she is not grown-up, of
course--a mere child?"
"Oh, I beg your pardon, sir, said the old creature, tickled up to
the eyes, and looking at me with the sweetest smiles; though it
may surprise you very much, she is not only no child, but a woman
grown; and, what's more, I think she will be made a wife this very
night."
"Egad, then I suspect she's not the only one that's about to
be made a wife of. I suspect some one of these young ladies, your
neighbors, will be very soon in the same condition."
"Indeed, sir--pray, who?--how do you know? and the old tabby edged
herself along the sofa until she almost got jam up beside me."
"Well, said I, I don't KNOW exactly, but I'm deucedly suspicious
of it, and, more than that, there's some underhand work going on."
"This made her more curious than ever; and her hands and feet, and
indeed her whole body, got such a fidgeting, that I fancied she
began to think of getting St. Vitus for a bedfellow. Her eagerness
made her ask me two or three times what made me think so; and, seeing
her anxiety, I purposely delayed in order to worry her. I wished
to see how far I could run her up. When I did begin to explain,
I went to work in a round-about way enough--something thus, old
Kentuck--as I began: "Well, ma'am, this tobacco-chewing, as I said
before, carried me, as you witnessed, constantly to the window.
I don't know that I chew more than many others, but I know I chew
too much for my good, and for decency, too, ma'am."