Ishmael, or In The Depths - Page 25/567

"Mr. Brudenell," she said, "do not take this to heart so much: why

should you, indeed, when you know that your fate is in your own hands?

You are master of your own destiny, and no man who is so should give way

to despondency. The alternative before you is simply this: to cease to

visit Nora, or to marry her. To do the first you must sacrifice your

love, to do the last you must sacrifice your pride. Now choose between

the courses of action! Gratify your love or your pride, as you see fit,

and cheerfully pay down the price! This seems to me to be the only

manly, the only rational, course."

"Oh, Hannah, Hannah, you do not understand! you do not!" he cried in a

voice full of anguish.

"Yes, I do; I know how hard it would be to you in either case. On the

one hand, what a cruel wrench it will give your heart to tear yourself

from Nora--"

"Yes, yes; oh, Heaven, yes!"

"And, on the other hand, I know what an awful sacrifice you would make

in marrying her--"

"It is not that! Oh, do me justice! I should not think it a sacrifice!

She is too good for me! Oh, Hannah, it is not that which hinders!"

"It is the thought of your mother and sisters, perhaps; but surely if

they love you, as I am certain they do, and if they see your happiness

depends upon this marriage--in time they will yield!"

"It is not my family either, Hannah! Do you think that I would sacrifice

my peace--or hers--to the unreasonable pride of my family? No, Hannah,

no!"

"Then what is it? What stands in the way of your offering your hand to

her to whom you have given your heart?"

"Hannah, I cannot tell you! Oh, Hannah, I feel that I have been very

wrong, criminal even! But I acted blindly; you have opened my eyes, and

now I see I must visit your house no more; how much it costs me to say

this--to do this--you can never know!"

He wiped the perspiration from his pale brow, and, after a few moments

given to the effort of composing himself, he asked: "Shall we go on now?"

She nodded assent and they walked onward.

"Hannah," he said, as they went along, "I have one deplorable weakness."

She looked up suddenly, fearing to hear the confession of some fatal

vice.