Ishmael, or In The Depths - Page 26/567

He continued: "It is the propensity to please others, whether by doing so I act well

or ill!"

"Mr. Brudenell!" exclaimed Hannah, in a shocked voice.

"Yes, the pain I feel in seeing others suffer, the delight I have in

seeing them enjoy, often leads--leads me to sacrifice not only my own

personal interests, but the principles of truth and justice!"

"Oh, Mr. Brudenell!"

"It is so, Hannah! And one signal instance of such a sacrifice at once

of myself and of the right has loaded my life with endless regret!

However, I am ungenerous to say this; for a gift once given, even if it

is of that which one holds most precious in the world, should be

forgotten or at least not be grudged by the giver! Ah, Hannah--" He

stopped abruptly.

"Mr. Brudenell, you will excuse me for saying that I agree with you in

your reproach of yourself. That trait of which you speak is a weakness

which should be cured. I am but a poor country girl. But I have seen

enough to know that sensitive and sympathizing natures like your own are

always at the mercy of all around them. The honest and the generous take

no advantage of such; but the selfish and the calculating make a prey of

them! You call this weakness a propensity to please others! Mr.

Brudenell, seek to please the Lord and He will give you strength to

resist the spoilers," said Hannah gravely.

"Too late, too late, at least as far as this life is concerned, for I am

ruined, Hannah!"

"Ruined! Mr. Brudenell!"

"Ruined, Hannah!"

"Good Heaven! I hope you have not endorsed for anyone to the whole

extent of your fortune?"

"Ha, ha, ha! You make me laugh, Hannah! laugh in the very face of ruin,

to think that you should consider loss of fortune a subject of such

eternal regret as I told you my life was loaded with!"

"Oh, Mr. Brudenell, I have known you from childhood! I hope, I hope you

haven't gambled or--"

"Thank Heaven, no, Hannah! I have never gambled, nor drank, nor--in

fact, done anything of the sort!"

"You have not endorsed for anyone, nor gambled, nor drank, nor anything

of that sort, and yet you are ruined!"

"Ruined and wretched, Hannah! I do not exaggerate in saying so!"

"And yet you looked so happy!"

"Grasses grow and flowers bloom above burning volcanoes, Hannah."