"--At that her tears burst out afresh--She had no glasses on, and she
looked no more than sixteen years old, give you my word Sir--She thanked
me like as if it was something real kind I'd thought of--I felt sort of
ashamed I could not do more-"Then she seemed to be having a struggle with herself--just as if she'd
rather die than take anything from anybody--and yet knew she had to--She
turned them, blue eyes on me streamin' with tears, and I had to turn
away, Sir Nicholas--I had really.-"'Burton,' she says--. 'Have you ever felt that you wanted to be dead
and done with it all--that you couldn't fight any more?' --"'I can't say as I have, Miss,' I answered her--'but I know my master
feels that way often--' Perhaps she felt kinder, sorry for you too, Sir
Nicholas, because as I said that, she gave a sort of extra sharp sob and
buried her face in her hands--.
"I slipped out of the room then and brought the tea as quick as I could
you may believe me Sir--and by that time she had pulled herself
together--'It is stupid to have any proud feelings--if you have to work
Burton' she said--'I will be--grateful for the loan of your money--and I
am happy to have such a friend' ... and she put out her little bit of a
hand--She did, Sir Nicholas--and I never felt so proud in my life--She's
just a real lady to her finger tips. She is, Sir--I shook it as gentle
as I could, and then was obliged to blow my nose, I felt that
blubberish--I left the room at once, and when I come back for the tray,
and to bring the money she had her hat on, and the note written for you
Sir--I took the violets and began putting them in the box for her to
take--but she stopped me--.
"'Violets fade so soon--I will not take them, thanks,' she said--'I have
to do some shopping before I go home and I could not carry them.' But I
knew it was not that.--She did not want to take them--perhaps she felt
she'd given up enough of her pride to take my money--for one day--So I
said nothing,--but that I did hope she would be feeling better by the
time she came to the appartement on Saturday. She did not speak, she
just nodded her head and smiled kind like at me and went."
I could not answer Burton--I too just nodded my head--and the dear old
boy left me alone--My very heart seemed bursting with pain and
remorse--When he had gone--I seized the letter and opened it.