June leaped into July and Random gave birth to a little filly for Jonathan. Eureka was a dark Appaloosa with dark spots on white loins, quarters and croup. She was the prettiest Appaloosa Carmen had ever seen. Jonathan was so excited that he couldn’t stop talking about her. It was sweet and amusing by turns. Alex took them all to dinner to celebrate the birth.
With only a little more than a month left before the twins were due, Carmen began the therapy to help her produce milk. At first it seemed as though nothing was happening. Then she started gaining weight.
As she was dressing for church one Sunday, she was having zipping up her dress. Alex was in the family room and Jonathan was still in his room, so she went searching for Alex to help her with the zipper. She found him in the living room reading the newspaper. He was sitting in his chair, everything from the top of his head to his thighs covered with the newspaper he was holding out to read. He needed glasses, but he wouldn’t admit it.
“Could you help me zip this?” She asked. “I’m afraid I’ve been putting on weight.”
He lowered the newspaper and eyed her sarcastically. “What? Three pounds?”
“I weigh 105 lbs now!”
He raised a brow. “And your point is?”
“I’m only five-two.” She sighed. “My clothes don’t fit right. I’m getting fat.”
He lowered the paper and methodically folded it.
“Here’s one you should know after raising dairy goats. How much does a gallon of milk weigh?”
She glanced down at the straining bodice and made a face.
“Well, I hope I don’t have a gallon of milk in there!”
He chuckled. “Maybe you are having a little water gain, but you look great.”
He stood and assisted her with the zipper.
“Isn’t it early for all of that?” she asked.
He shrugged, “Possibly, but the babies may come early. We’ll continue herbal and physical therapy.”
Less than three weeks later, she was working in the garden and Alex was feeding the horses when his cell phone rang. She watched him as he answered it and then headed toward her at a brisk pace.
“That was the doctor,” he called as he got close enough to be heard. “Can you call Katie while I make flight arrangements?”
Carmen abandoned the garden and followed him into the house.
“Isn’t it too early?”
He shrugged. “It’s a little early, but twins tend to have their own schedule. The doctor said they tried unsuccessfully to stop labor, but the babies are healthy and big enough.”
He climbed the stairs to his office while she called Katie. They had already made arrangements for Katie and Bill to watch Jonathan and Destiny while they went to pick up the babies.
Katie arrived an hour later to pick up Jonathan and Destiny, and thirty minutes later Carmen and Alex were in the car headed for the airport. There had been two cancellations on a flight and Alex grabbed them.
The trip to the airport and the flight to Illinois were both uneventful, the hotel accommodations better than they could have expected on such short notice. By the time they arrived at the hospital, the twins were being placed in incubators. Both were healthy and breathing on their own. They needed to gain a little weight before they would be released from the hospital, though.
Natalie and Matthew lay separated in their incubators, each sleeping. Matthew had thick black hair, but Natalie’s was blonde. Carmen leaned against the nursery window, gazing at them in awe – Alex at her side.
“Pinch me,” Carmen finally said. “I can’t believe this is really happening.”
“I know,” Alex said, his voice constricted.
Carmen glanced up at him and he smiled. “I’ve dreamed of this for years,” he said. “We actually have four children now.”
Later they were taken to a room where they were introduced to their newest family members.
Carmen had assumed breast feeding would be a natural thing, but as Matthew lay fussing in her arms, it seemed a major obstacle. Alex stood beside her, watching the nurse as she gave instructions to Carmen on how to nurse the infant.
Carmen lifted Matthew’s tiny head in the crook of her arm and let his little body rest in her lap, using her other hand to guide the nipple into his mouth. Matthew turned his face away, fussing. Following the nurses instruction, she gently stroked his cheek. Instantly he turned toward her. She repositioned the nipple.
Alex straightened the feeding tube across her shoulder and watched anxiously as Matthew mouthed the nipple and feeding tube. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, but it seemed much longer. Finally he sucked a couple times and then began searching again.
Carmen looked up at the nurse. “He doesn’t like the feeding tube.”
The nurse smiled. “He has to learn how . . . and maybe he senses your anxiety. Try to relax. It may take a few minutes, but he’ll catch on.”
Alex gently patted her on the back. It was intended to encourage her, but it was more a distraction.
Matthew’s little fingers pressed on her tender breasts, creating a new sensation. It felt like a sudden and painful swelling.
She looked up at Alex. “I think the milk is coming in.”
He smiled and patted her on the shoulder again. “You’re doing a great job.”
As if Matthew thought the encouragement was intended for him, he latched onto her breast, creating a suction that sent tiny bubbles down the feeding tube. He began suckling in a way that allowed air to enter around his mouth. He released the nipple and started to cry. His little tongue shook with the intensity of his frustrated wail.
Carmen glanced up at the nurse for reassurance.
The nurse smiled warmly. “He’s catching on, isn’t he?”
Carmen stroked his cheek again and Matthew went back for another try. This time he created enough suction to pull her nipple well into his mouth – feeding tube and all. That was all he needed. His fingers dug into her breast as he eagerly nursed.
The nurse turned to the door. “He won’t eat much. I’ll prepare little Natalie.”
Carmen gazed down at Matthew, overwhelmed with the joy of motherhood. A lump formed in her throat and tears spilled from her eyes. She had accepted the idea that she would never know this moment. If it hadn’t been for Alex’s tenacity on the subject of surrogacy, she never would have.
She leaned her head back and looked up at him, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
“Thank you . . . so much!”
His gaze was warm, his eyes misty. “Thank you.”
Tears continued to flow as her attention shifted back to Matthew.
“I just can’t believe it. He’s so beautiful – just like his daddy.”
Gradually Matthew’s suckling slowed and he fell asleep. He didn’t let go of the nipple, though, and when Carmen tried to remove it, he started suckling in his sleep.
She looked up at Alex, teasing him with her eyes. “Just like his daddy.”
To her surprise, Alex blushed. In the weeks of natural stimulation, she had been the one who was embarrassed. Maybe he didn’t want anyone else to know. It wasn’t as if she was in the habit of discussing such things – especially with strangers.
The nurse knocked on the door and then came in carrying a crying Natalie.
Carmen detached Matthew from her nipple and handed him to Alex, who sat down beside her. His attention was distracted momentarily as the feeding tube was switched to Carmen’s other breast.
Natalie needed little encouragement – or maybe it was because Carmen was a little more relaxed and experienced. Whatever the case, Natalie began suckling as soon as the nipple was in her mouth.
Carmen glanced at Alex and did a double take. Alex was staring down at Matthew, looking completely overwhelmed.
“What’s wrong?” Carmen asked anxiously.
Alex continued to stare at Matthew.
“I thought . . . I didn’t know it would be like this. He’s so . . .” His brows drew together as he glanced up at Carmen. “I didn’t think I would feel this way. He’s mine . . . ours. It shouldn’t make any difference whether he’s adopted or . . .”
He shook his head, still frowning.
Carmen smiled at him. “Yes Alex, he’s ours . . . yours. I know you, though. It won’t make any difference to you whether they are adopted or biological – not in how much you love them or how you treat them.
His brows lifted, but he still looked confused. “I wonder if this is how he felt,” he mused to himself.
There was no need to ask who. The moment had made him acutely aware of the instinct to replicate. He had an idea of how his father felt, fearing he would have to watch his little boy grow and not being able to be the provider. Maybe he wondered – maybe he knew – if his father had ever held him as he held his offspring right now.
“Alex.” She touched his arm and he glanced up. “Just embrace the moment. Savor it and stash it in your memory for safekeeping. We didn’t have Jonathan when he was an infant, and there was so much sadness at the time Destiny was born. We didn’t have the opportunity to prepare for her. Maybe we would have felt this way with them if things had been different.”
His reflective gaze traveled over her face and finally his brows lifted briefly.
“Perhaps.”
Later he held her hand and flipped his cell phone open with the other. He dialed one-handed. He was with her physically and attached emotionally, yet his thoughts were severed.
When a female voice answered, he pressed the speaker button and the phone call became theirs.
“Felipe, “ Alex said, “Is Señor Medena there?”
“Alex?” She queried.
“Yes.”
“Sure, just a minute.”
A few minutes later Señor Medena answered the phone.
“This is Señor Medena.”
Alex hesitated and looked at Carmen. For a moment he looked uncomfortable . . . uncertain. Then he continued the conversation.
“Dad,” his voice was quiet . . . filled with emotion.
“Alex?” The voice on the other end was hopeful.
“Yes . . . I just wanted to let you know that the twins were born this morning. They’re doing fine. We’re with them right now.”
Having said that much, he stopped, appearing to have run out of conversation.
If Alex was uncertain, his words . . . particularly one word . . . apparently gave his father encouragement.
“That is good to hear, son.” His voice was warm and confident. “Thank you for calling me.”
Maybe it was the emotional high they were feeling because of the babies, but something seemed to have shifted their foundation. Later, in their room, Alex explained.
“I guess he’s always been a part of me . . . one I’ve wasted most of my life trying to remove. He wasn’t the one who gave me a bad name. It was all the people who saw me as the result of my mother’s sins. He always claimed me and wanted to be responsible for me. He respected the man who raised me, even when I rejected my natural father. Maybe it’s something a person understands better when he becomes a father.” He put an arm around her shoulders, his gaze warm and admiring. “Or when he has a wife to point the way.”
She smiled up at him.
“Isn’t it strange how babies can draw people together? I’m so glad you talked me into this.”
He nodded, his gaze strolling over her face absently.
“I guess we both had a change of heart, didn’t we?”
Maybe that was how it was in any marriage. Some people changed together and others went in different directions. Sharing their problems was a step in the right direction. No one knew what the future held, but if they faced everything together, surely they would grow together.