Now, I could close my eyes and go to sleep. So desperately tired...
I floated for a time, peacefully drifting…somewhere, I don’t know where. An idea came to me and I remembered about my mum. I’d get to see her again, and that was a very nice thought. I felt unusually free and weightless, as if I were being held up by…something light.
Wings?
But that’s exactly what it felt like—wings holding me up, cradling my back. Silky feathers in two flowing arcs. Soft, but so powerfully strong. I realized what they belonged to after a while. They were angel wings.
I was being held by an angel.
12th January
London
COME back to me…
I’m right here, Ethan. Always. You just have to come back to me when you’re ready. I’ll be here waiting for you with Laurel-Thomas. We need you. I need you in order to do this. I just need you, and I won’t ever let you go. I never will.
I stayed with my man at his hospital bedside. Come back to me, baby. Same hospital we’d come to visit Lance. I was so grateful, though. He was here with me now, and I could touch him, and see him, and the doctors could help him. Neil pulled some major strings with someone and arranged for Ethan to be airlifted to London. Ivan helped, too. I don’t know what I would have done without those two. They knew people who could get things done. If Ethan were stuck in Switzerland right now, where I couldn’t go to him, I’d need to be strapped down.
I think Jonathan and Marie were about to commandeer me home but I wasn’t going anywhere. They’d finally gone to get food and said they’d be back later. They could fuss and try their strong-arm tactics all they wanted with me, but it wouldn’t do any good. I knew where I needed to be. I won’t leave you, my darling. I’m going to be here when you wake up.
Even so, I couldn’t do much of anything for him. The hospital had everything covered. Stitches to close the gash beside his right eye, at the top of his cheekbone. He would have a scar there now. Surgery to repair his left leg. Tibia and fibula both blown out, but they were fixed now, and would heal faster because of the pins they’d put into his bones. My man was just “sleeping” right now. He needed the deep rest so his body could regenerate.
So I sat there beside him, and called him back to me. I got the message you left for me on Christian’s phone. He was very sweet, and very worried about you. He called and talked to me because he didn’t want me to be scared by the text message you sent from his phone. He told me what happened, how they wanted to take a backcountry run, and how you told them what to do if they got in trouble up there. He said they all did what you’d instructed them to do, and because of it, they were all okay. He feels terrible you were the one who got hurt—
I felt a heavy hand come to rest on my shoulder. “They had blackberry flavor. I hope that’s all right.” Ivan pushed the cup of hot tea toward my hand. “Oh, and I got this for you, too.” He held out a protein bar. “Eat it, please.”
Slowly, I raised my eyes in shock. His words—the gesture, was nearly identical. I looked at Ivan where he stood frowning at me. Tall and green-eyed, with longer hair—just as handsome as his cousin, but different. Ivan bore a slightly more refined look, where Ethan was blessed with a harshness that made him appear a bit more rugged. But the genetics they shared? As clearly visible as water in a glass. They were of the same blood, and of the same mind.
Ivan’s offering of the protein bar brought back vivid memories of that first night, when Ethan drove me home from Benny’s show—all in a split-second. I could smell the scent of him and feel the warmth of the Rover’s heated seats. I could see him perfectly in my mind, the way he’d set that protein bar on my knee and waited for me to eat it before he would move the car. The “don’t-fuck-with-me” attitude. And the heavy dose of persuasive dominance I couldn’t deny. Come back to me, Ethan…
“Okay.” I nodded, and felt my eyes fill, struggling to keep it together, wanting to be strong for Ethan.
“Good girl,” he said softly, pulling up beside me in a chair. “He’d have a tantrum if he thought you weren’t taking care.”
“I know,” I said pitifully, taking a bite and chewing. It tasted like sawdust but I ate it anyway, and sipped the tea. My butterfly angel needed food even if I didn’t want any.
“Thank you, Brynne,” he said with a gentle smile. This was a different side of Ivan I was seeing at Ethan’s bedside. Ivan Everley was a devastating combination of charmingly sexy mixed with witty cynicism, but not right now. It was blatantly obvious he was worried about Ethan, too. They behaved more like brothers than cousins, I thought, and I always had felt that from the two of them. They were brothers in their heart, where it mattered.
“The first night I met Ethan he bought me a protein bar and made me eat it,” I told him.
I felt the tears spill out and down my cheeks and tried to wipe them away with the back of my hand.
Ivan put his arm around me and pulled me in against his side. “He loves you so much. I know he’s fighting his way back. I know him. I know how his mind works. E’s fighting his way back to you right now, Brynne.”
I nodded my agreement. I couldn’t speak, all I could do was believe. Ivan’s words were my lifeline to Ethan right now, and I couldn’t allow any other thoughts or doubts to creep in.
So, we sat there together, and gave him some more time to come back to us.
FINALLY. I smelled her again. Her scent was in my nose, and I breathed it in. A lungful of Brynne. But how could that be? I’d said goodbye to her up on that mountain. I felt different, though.
Vastly different.
I could now feel my body. My hands, my toes, my head. Does that mean…I’ve made it? Oh, f**kin’ fuck yes! I felt euphoria. I was alive…and Brynne was close by. It was so good…whatever was being done to me. The massaging of fingers through my hair, over and over again. Fingers I knew well. Belonging to a hand I’d felt, and held, and kissed. The hand slowly rubbed my scalp. Her hand—Brynne’s hand touched me, and that was the most wonderful perfect f**king thing. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, and that I was going to be fine, but I couldn’t speak yet. All I could do was breathe her in, and savour the feel of her touching me. Somehow, by some miraculous intervention, I’d survived. I remembered the angel wings holding me when I was floating between life and death. It very much reminded me of another time when it had happened to me.