Did I laugh when I shouldn't have? Or make some remark about his leg he took the wrong way?
I watch Petr's muscular form disappear into the crowd, uncertain why I'm rattled or why I really want him to come back. I shouldn't. It's wrong for me to drag anyone else into my miserable life. But Petr …
I haven't laughed like that in years. I feel comfortable around him and genuinely eager to talk to him. What I can't figure out: why the hell is he interested in me? Any doubt I had earlier is gone after his comment about me being beautiful.
I face the massive turkey and start to laugh again, recalling his bafflement regarding the ginormous chocolate statue. My amusement fades as I dwell on his claim about having difficulties dating. It's impossible for me to understand. He's funny, smart, dedicated to helping others, has an incredible body, and an absolute sweetheart. My stomach is filled with butterflies every time we're around one another and I end up flustered like a high school student.
Any woman with any sense would be honored to choose a man like him, yet I saw the darkness in his eyes when he said the words. He tried to make them a joke, but I know suffering when I see it. We have that in common, a connection I wouldn't wish on anyone.
He's been through a lot. If he's anything like me, it's made him doubt himself in every way possible.
I really, really hope I didn't say or do something to offend him. I can't risk being in a relationship, but I don't want to leave him with a bad impression anyway, and it frustrates me. If … when Todd and I have to move on, we'll never be in contact with anyone here ever again. What does it matter if Petr is hurt by something I said?
My breath catches.
He's too good for that. He deserves more, and I'm not the person to give it to him.
But I kinda wish I could be.
"Claud, did you try the stuffing?" Todd asks, breaking into my warring thoughts. "It has cornbread in it."
I draw a steadying breath and face him. Maya is beside him, and they're holding hands. I nearly squeal at the sight before reminding myself it's just as risky for Todd to follow his heart as it is for me to. We're going to have to have a talk soon, and I dread it with every ounce of my soul.
"No, I didn't," I say and plaster on a smile. "I need to make a plate. You kids full or up for another round?"