She sipped her coffee and made a face. "Try some cream and sugar; maybe you'll like it better that way." She took my suggestion.
"This is how it works," I continued. "The ball is in your court. Your choice; your decision. It's all up to you. Say the word and I'm out of your life."
"You're lying! I'm just a kid. Dad would never stand still for that!"
I leaned across the table and snarled. "I don't lie."
"All adults do!"
"Your father wouldn't lie, would he?" She bowed her head down and didn't answer. I pressed. "Would he?"
"Sometimes." Her answer was a whisper.
I wasn't sure how to continue but I felt something important was struggling to be released. "Do you think he's lying when he says he loves you?" She shook her head no. It was my turn to whisper. "How about when he says, he loves me?"
"No!" She dropped her spoon, startling me. "I told you he was in love with you ages ago. But he wouldn't let me stop you from marrying him!"
"It's not up to your father. It's up to me." I sipped my coffee to collect my thoughts. "Here's the bottom line: if you had a choice with no ramifications, which would you rather see happen; I walk out of your life or I marry your father." I was holding my breath but she was quick to answer.
"Marry."
I sighed with relief. "Why?"
"He needs a wife I guess."
"God, that makes me cheaper than a back street hooker! Is that your best reason?"
She sipped her coffee. No sour face after ample cream and sugar. "I guess you're not after his money."
"His money scares me more than anything! I don't want it or all the trappings that go with it. I like being poor. I've had a lot of practice."
"Whatever."
"So you don't give a shit one way or the other? She looked at me, startled at my frequent swearing, but I was frustrated and nervous as a cat. I was actually holding it down. When I get hot, my language skills go totally to hell.
"Do you always swear?"
"Only when I'm irritated."
"What did I do to irritate you?"
I sighed. "I'm not irritated at you; you haven't done anything wrong except to lie your ass off to your father. I'm frustrated at myself. I don't know what to do. I fell in love with this guy, and I'd really like to marry him. But there's more. I fell in love with his kids too, especially his daughter." Karen gave a little sarcastic laugh. "Don't you dare laugh! Hear me out." I looked away from her and continued. "It was a crazy thing. The first time I met you, I saw myself at your age. You were so sweet and vulnerable in spite of trying to act otherwise, and those brown eyes of yours got me. I wanted to wrap my arms around you. God, I feel so stupid even saying that." I looked back at her, expecting her to laugh again but she sat transfixed, the seriousness of her gaze startling me. She said nothing. "I really mean that. I know it sounds crazy but you're very special to me."