Jane Eyre - Page 197/412

"I like to serve you, sir, and to obey you in all that is right."

"Precisely: I see you do. I see genuine contentment in your gait

and mien, your eye and face, when you are helping me and pleasing

me--working for me, and with me, in, as you characteristically say,

'ALL THAT IS RIGHT:' for if I bid you do what you thought wrong,

there would be no light-footed running, no neat-handed alacrity, no

lively glance and animated complexion. My friend would then turn to

me, quiet and pale, and would say, 'No, sir; that is impossible: I

cannot do it, because it is wrong;' and would become immutable as a

fixed star. Well, you too have power over me, and may injure me:

yet I dare not show you where I am vulnerable, lest, faithful and

friendly as you are, you should transfix me at once."

"If you have no more to fear from Mr. Mason than you have from me,

sir, you are very safe."

"God grant it may be so! Here, Jane, is an arbour; sit down."

The arbour was an arch in the wall, lined with ivy; it contained a

rustic seat. Mr. Rochester took it, leaving room, however, for me:

but I stood before him.

"Sit," he said; "the bench is long enough for two. You don't

hesitate to take a place at my side, do you? Is that wrong, Jane?"

I answered him by assuming it: to refuse would, I felt, have been

unwise.

"Now, my little friend, while the sun drinks the dew--while all the

flowers in this old garden awake and expand, and the birds fetch

their young ones' breakfast out of the Thornfield, and the early

bees do their first spell of work--I'll put a case to you, which you

must endeavour to suppose your own: but first, look at me, and tell

me you are at ease, and not fearing that I err in detaining you, or

that you err in staying."

"No, sir; I am content."

"Well then, Jane, call to aid your fancy:- suppose you were no

longer a girl well reared and disciplined, but a wild boy indulged

from childhood upwards; imagine yourself in a remote foreign land;

conceive that you there commit a capital error, no matter of what

nature or from what motives, but one whose consequences must follow

you through life and taint all your existence. Mind, I don't say a

CRIME; I am not speaking of shedding of blood or any other guilty

act, which might make the perpetrator amenable to the law: my word

is ERROR. The results of what you have done become in time to you

utterly insupportable; you take measures to obtain relief: unusual

measures, but neither unlawful nor culpable. Still you are

miserable; for hope has quitted you on the very confines of life:

your sun at noon darkens in an eclipse, which you feel will not

leave it till the time of setting. Bitter and base associations

have become the sole food of your memory: you wander here and

there, seeking rest in exile: happiness in pleasure--I mean in

heartless, sensual pleasure--such as dulls intellect and blights

feeling. Heart-weary and soul-withered, you come home after years

of voluntary banishment: you make a new acquaintance--how or where

no matter: you find in this stranger much of the good and bright

qualities which you have sought for twenty years, and never before

encountered; and they are all fresh, healthy, without soil and

without taint. Such society revives, regenerates: you feel better

days come back--higher wishes, purer feelings; you desire to

recommence your life, and to spend what remains to you of days in a

way more worthy of an immortal being. To attain this end, are you

justified in overleaping an obstacle of custom--a mere conventional

impediment which neither your conscience sanctifies nor your

judgment approves?"