Jane Eyre - Page 198/412

He paused for an answer: and what was I to say? Oh, for some good

spirit to suggest a judicious and satisfactory response! Vain

aspiration! The west wind whispered in the ivy round me; but no

gentle Ariel borrowed its breath as a medium of speech: the birds

sang in the tree-tops; but their song, however sweet, was

inarticulate.

Again Mr. Rochester propounded his query: "Is the wandering and sinful, but now rest-seeking and repentant,

man justified in daring the world's opinion, in order to attach to

him for ever this gentle, gracious, genial stranger, thereby

securing his own peace of mind and regeneration of life?"

"Sir," I answered, "a wanderer's repose or a sinner's reformation

should never depend on a fellow-creature. Men and women die;

philosophers falter in wisdom, and Christians in goodness: if any

one you know has suffered and erred, let him look higher than his

equals for strength to amend and solace to heal."

"But the instrument--the instrument! God, who does the work,

ordains the instrument. I have myself--I tell it you without

parable--been a worldly, dissipated, restless man; and I believe I

have found the instrument for my cure in--"

He paused: the birds went on carolling, the leaves lightly

rustling. I almost wondered they did not check their songs and

whispers to catch the suspended revelation; but they would have had

to wait many minutes--so long was the silence protracted. At last I

looked up at the tardy speaker: he was looking eagerly at me.

"Little friend," said he, in quite a changed tone--while his face

changed too, losing all its softness and gravity, and becoming harsh

and sarcastic--"you have noticed my tender penchant for Miss Ingram:

don't you think if I married her she would regenerate me with a

vengeance?"

He got up instantly, went quite to the other end of the walk, and

when he came back he was humming a tune.

"Jane, Jane," said he, stopping before me, "you are quite pale with

your vigils: don't you curse me for disturbing your rest?"

"Curse you? No, sir."

"Shake hands in confirmation of the word. What cold fingers! They

were warmer last night when I touched them at the door of the

mysterious chamber. Jane, when will you watch with me again?"

"Whenever I can be useful, sir."

"For instance, the night before I am married! I am sure I shall not

be able to sleep. Will you promise to sit up with me to bear me

company? To you I can talk of my lovely one: for now you have seen

her and know her."