Hoping against hope, the young man seated himself on the ground. The
violence of his sufferings seemed to abate and leave him at rest for a few
moments. His thoughts wandered to all he loved upon earth, but the respite
was of short duration. Soon the agony he endured drew from him piercing
cries. During his long martyrdom no torment had equalled the present. It
seemed as though he were being devoured by flames, or as if molten lead
were coursing through his veins.
He writhed in convulsions, beat his breast, and in heart-rending accents
called upon God for help. But nothing relieved his horrible sufferings.
He filled the air with his groans and screams, he beat the door with blind
fury, tore the flesh from his fingers in his useless efforts to make an
opening in his prison-walls, and ran from side to side as though the pangs
of hunger had driven him mad.
At last, exhausted and convinced that there was no escape, that he must
soon enter into his last agony, he threw himself upon the ground, bowed
his head and joined his hands in prayer, begging for resignation to meet
the death which would end his cruel martyrdom. His mind now appeared
clear, and he was perfectly conscious, for after a while he shed a torrent
of tears. His lips moved, giving utterance to confused sounds, but by
degrees his words became more distinct, and fixing his eye in the darkness
on the spot where he knew the grave had been dug, he said: "No more hope! All is over. I must die! The grave yawns to receive me.
Alas! what a place for my mortal remains! Forgotten, unknown, concealed by
the darkness of a horrible crime! Not a tear will fall upon the tomb of
the unfortunate victim; not a cross will mark the spot where I lie; not a
prayer will be whispered over my body! Death approaches. Ah! I must not
thus cling to life; I will pray and lift my hands in supplication to God.
He alone--"
He stopped under the influence of a sudden emotion.
"Heavens! did I not hear a noise?"
He listened breathlessly for a time to catch the indistinct sound he
thought he had heard; but he was mistaken.
"Why should I hope, when hope is no longer possible? Let me rather seek
strength in the consideration of the better life which awaits me. The
death I endure will purify me from all my sins. If God, in His
impenetrable designs, has appointed this to be my earthly fate, He will,
in His mercy, take into account before his judgment-seat what I have
innocently suffered here below. Consoling hope, which, encourages me to
look with confidence into eternity!