“Everything? What is that even supposed to mean?”
His smirk grows into a smile. One that has my fingers curling into his skin and my thighs involuntarily pressing against his legs to try and ease the pressure building.
“You’ll see.”
“Look, Liam. You’re a nice guy and all that, but I just don’t think you and I are on the same page here.”
“Same book, different chapters, baby. Don’t worry, you’ll learn to read fast.”
“Ugh! I don’t think you get it. I mean, I tried to be nice about it. It was sex, Liam. Just sex. I needed it, you gave it, and we both got something out of it. Why can’t you just leave it at that?”
He throws his head back and laughs. I literally stop breathing at the sound. That burn in my gut coming back tenfold.
A burn that I haven’t felt in so long.
Feelings.
He turns his eyes back to mine and smiles when he sees my expression. “Ah, I see you’re starting to understand.”
Okay, now I’m getting pissed. I rip my hands from his grasp, instantly missing the warmth of his chest against my palms. I want to kiss him and I want to slap him all in the same breath.
“You don’t understand, Liam. I can’t . . . I just . . . I can’t do this.” My nose burns and I can feel the emotion start to climb up my throat, but I beat it down. I try to get up but his hands quickly grab my hips and he pulls me tighter against his lap. “I can’t,” I choke out, once again fighting the emotions from bubbling out.
“Wrong, Megan. You can, you’re just afraid.”
“You’re fucking right, I’m afraid.” My eyes widen when I realize what I’ve given away. I shake my head and struggle against his hold. His face softens and his eyes don’t leave mine when he lifts his hands from my hips. I scramble off his lap so quick that I lose my balance and crash to the floor. He moves quickly to help me, I hold my hand up and give him the back of my head. “No. Don’t.”
“Megs.”
“It’s Megan, dammit!” I scream before clamping my lips tight. “Please, it’s Megan. I haven’t been Megs in three years, Liam. I need you to get that if you don’t get anything else.”
He doesn’t say anything and when I get the courage, I turn and look him in the eyes from my position on the floor. He’s pulled his body to the edge of the seat and his arm is still outstretched to help me off the floor. His eyes, they’re telling me everything his silence isn’t. He gets it and to my shock it looks as if it hurts him just as much as it hurts me.
“I can’t be Megs,”
“All right, darlin'. I understand,” he says softly. “I need you to be honest with me, sweetheart. Please. I get that this is new, sudden and scary for you. You get me when I say I’ve been waiting?”
I shake my head.
He sighs, “Can you please let me help you off the floor?”
I shake my head again and use the coffee table to pull myself to my feet, going to sit on the couch opposite from him instead of the chair next to where he’s sitting on the loveseat.
His eyes get hard, but as quickly as his frustration was shown, it’s gone.
“Yeah, I’ll let you have that play, baby. You need to be as far from me as you can to think that will put some distance between us, that’s fine. Won’t work, but I’ll give you that.”
“You drive me nuts.” I tell him honestly.
“Probably. But I want you to think about it and really think about it and tell me that it’s a feeling you don’t like.”
I narrow my eyes, “Who in their right mind would like being driven nuts?” I ask him, my voice growing higher.
His lip turns up, just the side with that damn dimple, and I harden my gaze. All that earns me is the other side curling up until he is giving me the full force of that smile. Thank God I’m sitting or I would melt in a pile of goo. He smiles at me for a few more seconds before his face grows serious. My chest starts to rise and fall with each breath as he sits there and just looks at me. His dark eyes seemingly see right through me. I curl my arms around my chest and wait. It isn’t until he opens his mouth that I lose every ounce of air in my lungs.
“You like it because it makes you feel, Megan.”
I gasp.
How? How can he know? How can he have a clue that I, for the first time in three years, felt something other than my love for Molly and I only did that because of him?
“You’re getting it. I’m a patient man, Megan. I’ve waited for you. Waiting for that person that would make me feel and, baby, I’m ready. You aren’t, but you will be. I just have to make you remember how good feeling is.”