“She’s different, Dani.” I wait for her to sit down before I continue. “You know how it is, you have it with Cohen. It’s not something I can describe, I just know. I felt the same way back when she first started coming around. Every time she walks into a room it’s like I can feel her. Fuck, I sound like a sappy Lifetime movie.”
She sighs and rests her cheek on her hand. I just shake my head and laugh under my breath.
“It is pretty fucking sappy.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Remember when we got drunk a few years ago and I went on and on about how one day I would find her? Well, I did. I found that person that is worth fighting for. The one that makes me excited to just be around her.”
“Damn, Lee. How long have you felt this way?”
“I’m not sure. A few months before Owen was born. But I don’t think I really understood what I was feeling until your accident.” I stop to make sure she isn’t having any issues at the mention of the accident that almost took her and Owen from us. “I remember when she got to the hospital she was exhausted from running around all day with Molly with the added panic of rushing to find a sitter. She was a mess. Emotionally holding on by a thread. She sat in the corner and wouldn’t move her eyes from Cohen. The whole time she just looked at him with nothing but fear and worry.”
I look over from where I had been looking off in the distance of the back yard when I hear Dani sniff.
“She was so alone, Dani. I couldn’t just see it, I felt it. I could feel her pain and even then it killed me. After Mom and Dad got there, I moved from them to sit with Megan. She didn’t speak, hell I’m not even sure she knew it was me she was holding on to, but I held her hand until they came out to tell us what was going on. When the doctor was talking to Cohen I thought she was going to break my hand, she held on so tight. That woman has so much love in her, she’s just afraid to give it.”
“God, you’re gonna make me cry, Lee.”
“Anyway, I felt the attraction to her before then, but sitting there in the hospital with her, I just knew. I’ve spoken to her a bunch of times before then, but at that moment, when I wanted nothing more than to reach inside her and pull her pain away, I knew there was more to it. I’ve tried to take it further a few times since then. Made my attraction known. Waited for her to take the bait. I didn’t have my chance until your reception.”
She opens her mouth and her eyes get huge. “You took advantage of her when she was drunk?” she screams.
“Are you serious?” Of all the reactions, didn’t think I would get that one from my closest friend. “Tell me you aren’t fucking serious.”
“Lee, I was there, she had been drinking.”
“Yeah, drinking, she wasn’t drunk. I see drunk almost daily at work. I know the difference between enjoying the party with a few drinks with a good buzz and shit faced. She was one hundred percent herself when I was with her.”
“With her?”
Jesus, this girl.
“What is it that you think would happen, Dani? I practically fucked her on your parents’ back lawn!” I boom, getting frustrated.
“Oh, well that was hard to miss.” She rolls her eyes and leans back in her seat. “So, you guys went somewhere and hooked up, got it. Have you not seen her since then?”
“She’s been avoiding me.”
She laughs and I give her a hard look.
“Well, okay.”
“I told her last night I was done with the games.”
She slaps my arm. “You did that after everything she went through?” she asks shocked.
“No. I did that when I could tell she needed a distraction to keep her mind from going into self-preservation mode. I did that because when I got that call, I thought that I was going to go out of my mind with worry. I pulled that shit because I’ll be fucking God dammed if I let a day go past that I’m not there to make sure shit like that doesn’t happen again.”
I take a deep breath and remind myself that my anger shouldn’t be directed toward Dani.
“Oh. Well. Okay. Now what?”
“Now I figure out how many hoops I have to jump through before she can see past her fear. I understand, she lost her husband and I’m not looking to take his place, but I’m fighting to win here, Dani. I want her.”
She doesn’t say anything, but I know Dani. She’s working out what she wants to say. I stand from the table and grab another water, waiting her out.
“Okay. I think I get it. I mean, I know all about finding that one person and having to fight for it, but I guess I’m worried. Not just for you getting hurt, because as much as I hate to say it, there is a lot of room for you to get hurt here. But, I’m also worried for her and I’m worried for Molly. What happens if Molly gets attached to you, Lee? She’s already lost her father and I know Megan hasn’t dated since Jack.”