Then he held me in his arms while I completely lost my shit and ever since I felt his arms wrapped tight around me in comfort, I’ve been craving that feeling for every second of every day since he walked out my door.
“What are you thinking about that has that frown making an appearance?” Dani questions.
“Just thinking,” I tell her.
I look up from where I had been signing the last of my book orders and look around my dining room table. She isn’t focused on me, instead on packaging the last book that I had slid her way. I watch as she handles the paperback with so much care, her eyes rolling over her fingertips as she touches the glossy cover. Moving my gaze from hers, I look over at Maddi and Stella, who have been helping me get together my weekly mail outs.
This—having them in this part of my life—was a huge step for me this week. It was part one of my plan to let those walls crumble and what better way than finally letting them see all of me. Dani, of course, knew but it was news to the other girls.
“Thinking about Lee?” Maddi probes.
I take a deep breath, “Yes.”
Dani stops what she’s doing and snaps her eyes to me, causing me to laugh.
“Shocked I admitted to it?” I jokingly ask.
“Well, uh . . . yeah.”
“She’s played stupid long enough, figured one of these times she would open up,” Stella mumbles.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Dani continues, ignoring Stella’s comment.
“Yes,” I breathe.
Her eyes widen a fraction because she carefully closes her shock down. Or maybe it’s excitement. Either one, what my friend is not hiding is her happiness that the subject isn’t being dropped.
“So, all right. Let’s do this,” Maddi exclaims, rubbing her hands together.
I laugh, letting some of the nerves leave my body. These are my friends. I’m safe here. They won’t judge me and they won’t think badly of me. I keep reminding myself that there is nothing to be afraid of as each of them sit back and wait for me to speak.
“Uh,” I stammer. “So you know he’s been . . . persistent?”
Maddi laughs, “Is that what we’re going to call it?
“Okay, maybe adorably annoying with his determination would be better?”
They all laugh at me and my nerves ease instantly.
“Don’t keep us waiting, Megan! What is going on up there?” Maddi asks on a laugh, reaching over the table to tap me lightly against my temple.
I swat her hand, enjoying the easy banter between us. Sobering slightly, allowing the serious thoughts I had been having minutes earlier to come back, I look at each of these girls that have come to mean so much to me.
“Things got a little intense last week,” I start. Each of them lose a little of their smiles. “I guess. . . . well, I—damn this was so much easier to word in my thoughts.”
“Just start from the beginning, babe, can’t see a better way to clue us in on what’s weighing heavy on your mind.”
I give Dani a small nod and a weak smile when she stops talking.
“The beginning, right.” I look over at Maddi and Stella. “Do you two know about . . . did you hear that we, uh, had a little sleepover?”
They look at me and I can tell they’re both struggling to hold onto their laughter. Did I just really call it a sleepover?
“I hope it wasn’t little,” Maddi belts out, causing Dani and Stella to erupt in giggles as my face heats to a roaring burn.
“Oh, God!” I clasp my hand over my mouth and shake my head.
“Is that a no? It wasn’t little?” Stella giggles.
I look at her and narrow my eyes. “For your information, not that it’s any of your business, he is far from little. In fact, he was so, uh, well endowed, he had to really work at it!”
Shit. Dammit. Did I really just admit that?
“Explain,” Stella says, leaning forward, her face the picture of seriousness.
“No, please don’t,” Dani gripes.
“Ignore her. Finish. Explain.”
“Jesus, Stell . . . that’s Lee you’re talking about.”
“Lee has a dick, rightowardt. He’s always been selective with who he dates and you know just as well as I do that he didn’t bring anyone into our group so I never got to grill anyone. I’m curious, screw me. I bet he’s hung. He’s hung, right?”
“Do you want a tissue for that drool?” Maddi mumbles and rolls her eyes.
“Maybe, I don’t know yet. Finish!”