“I don’t have any condoms here,” she blurts after pulling her lips from mine.
I take a deep breath and give her a reassuring smile.
“Are you clean?” I ask, knowing her answer.
“Of course, yes.”
“I’m checked, often, for work. But even if I wasn’t, I haven’t had anyone but you in over a year. It’s your call, but darlin’, I would love to feel you with nothing between us.”
“I’m on the pill. Regulates me, I mean . . . we’re good.”
“Then no more condoms, baby,” I tell her with a grin and move my lips back to hers as she blushes.
My hands move from her ass, under her shirt and up her sides. When I hit her bra, it takes one flip of my wrist to open the clasps. She pushes herself from my mouth with a gasp, moves back so my hands fall to the sides and while looking me in the eye, pulls both her shirt and bra off. Not a second later, her mouth is back on mine and her small hands are pulling at my shirt.
“Darlin’, what’s the hurry?” I ask when I pull back to remove the shirt that she has been so desperately trying to claw to shreds.
Her breathing is coming rapidly and she lets her head roll back as her hips continue to rock against mine. I’m not even sure she heard me.
“I need to feel you.” Her voice is wild, anxious, and I know in that moment that this is something more than sex.
More than making love.
More than just us.
It hits me, that after everything that’s been running through her head today, that she really does need this. She needs to feel me and know that I’m still here.
“Then take me, darlin’,” I tell her and look deep in her eyes, hoping that with that look I’m showing her how much I love her. “Take me. Take everything, Megan.”
She makes a noise. It’s a heartbreaking mix between a cry and a moan before her hands come forward and she starts to desperately claw at my belt, needing it out of the way with a fever that has her crying out when it doesn’t unhook right away. I give her what she needs; helping her undo my belt and I push her hands aside when she goes to my jeans, knowing that she will just get frustrated again.
She scurries off my lap and I watch, while pulling the buttons on my jeans apart, as the rest of her clothes come off. Before I can push my jeans any further than down my hips and around my ass, she’s back in my lap, her lips on mine the second that her ass hits my lap. This time, I help build the kiss and pray that some of that desperation will be healed when she takes me.
Her small hands come up and she takes my face between them, slowing her kiss down until her tongue is making lazy sweeps.
“Darlin’,” I moan when she starts to rock against me. “What do you need?”
“You. Just you,” she answers.
“Then. Take. Me.”
She doesn’t. She looks into my eyes, hers still holding onto her fear, but she does not take me.
“Megan. I’m here. Fuck, baby, I’m close to coming with just feeling your wet pussy against my cock. Please, take me.”
Again, she doesn’t move.
“Megan.”
Nothing.
“Darlin’,” I murmur, my hands coming up to curl around her neck.
At my touch, her eyes drop and my heart clenches when I see a tear roll out.
“Baby,” Kiss. “Please, take me.”
She opens her eyes and shakes her head.
“Megan,” I start, my own worry starting to climb, causing me to hold my breath when she interrupts me.
“Help me,” she whimpers.
I give her a squeeze with my hands resting on her hips and cock my brow, letting her know without words that she never has to doubt. She pushes up with her thighs as I help lift her weight and one hand comes off my shoulders to wrap around my cock. I moan the second her fingers close around me and my hips jerk. Fuck me, it’s going to take an act of God to last longer than a second.
With her eyes locked on mine, she drops down until her ass is flush to my thighs and my cock is deep inside her wet pussy. She doesn’t move past the slow rocking of her hips.
“Megan, take me. Take what you need to know I’m right here,” I beg and relax the bruising hold my fingers have on her hips.
It’s fascinating to watch, the way that she is healing with just a connection to my body, but as she slowly rocks, the fear that had been prominent in her gaze weakens until it’s all but gone. In its place, hope and love start to burn bright. The worry lines around her eyes, fade, and the tight pinch of her lips relaxes until her mouth is parted with gasping pants. Finally, the tiny furrow of her brows pulls back and when her eyes fill with tears this time I know they aren’t anywhere close to the ones that wept out earlier.