“Oh.” She laughed. “I suppose since we didn’t get to make love in the backseat.”
“No, this isn’t about sex.” I shook my head and reached over and grabbed her hand. “Don’t get me wrong, I love ha**g s*x with you, but that’s kinda all we know about each other. If we’re going to be friends, we need to …”
“Okay, stop right there.” Maddie turned to face me. “You surprise me every single day, Logan Martelli. I knew you were a great guy.”
“I’m not a great guy.” I denied her words. If she knew the truth about what I had been thinking about doing, well, I’m not sure she would be so gushing then.
“So why are we going to a field then?”
“It’s a special field.” I smiled at her briefly. “Just be patient.”
“Okay.”
I looked at the familiar surroundings as I drove and I could almost smell the pollen in the air. The fields we passed were lush and green with dashes of colors, the flowers were in bloom and they brightened up the otherwise dull fields. I got excited as I pulled off of the road and down a street with a Do not pass sign. I stopped the car and jumped out.
“Come on, we have to walk from here.”
“Can we leave the car here?” She jumped out of the car and looked worried. “What of the police see it?”
“It’ll be okay.” I laughed. “If you didn’t notice, we’re on a private road, pretty far from the main road. The police won’t be coming.”
“Okay.” She looked up at me with bright eyes. “So where are we going?”
“Follow me.” I reached over and grabbed her hand and she smiled at me happily. For a moment, everything almost felt normal. I felt like a regular guy, on a date with a girl he liked, and everything was right in the world. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Maddie and I were happy to be in this moment.
“So what is this place?” Maddie asked again, not able to keep her curiosity to herself as we walked down overgrown path.
“It’s a special field my mom used to take me to as a boy. Just me and her.” I didn’t look at Maddie as I spoke, scared that somehow I would be too overwhelmed to continue on this journey. “I always loved nature, it’s something I got from my mom. I love the smell of the grass, I love the feel of the sun on my face, I love to just be swallowed up by nature; it makes me feel like I’m a part of something.”
“It kinda makes you believe in something higher, doesn’t it?” Maddie’s voice was soft and thoughtful as she looked around. “When I go camping, I’m reminded that there is so much more to the world than whether I get good grades or a new top.”
“Yeah.” I dropped her hand and bent down to pick her a few flowers that were growing to the right of us. “Like, take a look at these. Have you ever seen such a bright pink before in your life? Look how vivid it is. It’s a pink that could punch you in the face.”
“They are beautiful,” she agreed, and smiled at me, a delicious, wide, gorgeous smile and I felt a part of me melt inside. It was as if she had awakened in me something that I hadn’t known existed. A part of me that was full of wonder and belief.
“And this one.” I held the violet flower delicately. “This one reminds me of your eyes, it’s purple, but when you look at it in a different light, it looks navy blue. So beautiful and deceiving. Yet so lovely and captivating.”
“I hope you don’t think I’m deceiving.” She smiled at me searchingly and my breath caught as my heart constricted at the sight of her.
“I think the image of you is deceiving,” I answered slowly, trying to explain it to her, as well as to myself. “I think when I look at you, I see a beautiful, wonderful, capricious girl. And all I can focus on is your impish smile. But then there are times I look at you, and I see Maddison Wright, and I see a rich, privileged girl. And I feel deceived, because how can I be falling for the girl with the purple eyes if she’s Maddison Wright ...” My words trailed off and we stared at each other for a while. I think we were both in shock, not because I had voiced my inner turmoil but because I had admitted I was falling for her. I was really falling for her, and I knew that a relationship between us would do nothing but cause more trouble.
“So when I look at you, Logan Martelli,” she began softly and then reached over to hold my hands. “When I look at you, I see the handsome boy I grew up daydreaming about. I see your dark blond tousled hair and green eyes, and I think, this man is too handsome to be here with me. I think you can have any girl you want. And you’re cocky and self-assured, and you don’t mind throwing punches. And I think, he’s a player, he’s all about one thing. But then I see that hint of a smile in your eyes, followed by an even quicker hint of sadness and a whole lot of anger. And I think, this man, this man is trouble. He’s secretive, and he doesn’t trust, and he’s a thief, and I know he hates my father. And I think, what am I doing here? What do I hope to get out of this? Am I just looking for a heartache?”
“I don’t want to cause you a heartache, Maddie.” Her words cut my heart and I didn’t know what else to say.
“I slept with you on the first night I met you.” She shook her head, slightly laughing to herself. “I tried to steal a cop car to get you to like me. I’ve cried and almost begged you to be friends.” She leaned in towards me. “I’ve been slightly crazy, and I told myself that it would be worth it, that it had to be worth it. And just now, you made it all worth it.”
“I did?” I wanted to step back from her. My head was starting to feel overwhelmed with emotions and realizations.
“Yeah, you did.” She grinned. “You just told me that you’re falling for me, too.”
“Too?”
“Well, you know,” she laughed. “I’ve already fallen for you.”
“Oh, Maddie.”
“We deserve to give this a chance, Logan.” She bit her lip and leaned in and pressed her lips against mine. Her lips tasted like sweet mint and I closed my eyes as I kissed her back sweetly. I pulled away from her and grabbed her hand again.
“Come, we still haven’t gotten to the field as yet.” I didn’t want to continue talking about us. I wasn’t ready to delve any deeper into our feelings. It was all too new for me, and I needed to think. We walked for another ten minutes in companionable silence and then I saw the familiar two rocks on top of each other and stopped. “My mom and I put those rocks there.” I pointed over to them. “We wanted to make a marker so we wouldn’t forget this spot.”
“Did you guys come here a lot?”
“Maybe four or five times.” My eyes glazed over. As I had gotten older, it had been harder and harder for my mother to take me anywhere with her, especially once I became a teenager. I had not wanted to come and visit fields with mother anymore. I could still remember the last time she had asked me. I had been playing videogames with Vincent, and I had been feeling particularly proud of myself because I had bought the newest game out of money my father had given me for helping him steal a brand new Toyota Camry. I had heard her arguing with my father about letting me go with him, and she had told him she didn’t want this life for her sons. She then came to my room and asked if I wanted to go on a drive with her. I hadn’t even looked up from the game; I was still annoyed with her. “I thought we could go to our field,” she had said, but I ignored her. She left the room silently and had never asked me again before she died. That was a memory that still pained me, and I felt my muscles tighten as I stared at the rocks.
“It must have been nice to come here with just your mom,” Maddie continued and squeezed my hand as if she realized how hard it was for me to be here.
“It was nice.” I nodded. “Let’s go.” I pushed through the bushes next to the rocks and held them open for Maddie as much as I could. She squeezed through and we took a few more steps and then I stopped and stared. There in front of us was the largest field of sunflowers I had ever seen in my life, it seemed to go on and on, and each sunflower seemed to shine even brighter than the next.
“Wow, this is amazing.” Maddie’s eyes shone with appreciation. “This is so beautiful.” She gazed around and gingerly touched the petals of a sunflower in front of her. “I understand why Van Gogh painted sunflowers now.”
“They all look so similar, but if you study them, they are all so unique. The yellows in their petals, the oranges of the florets, all so unique if you stop to study them carefully.”
“I don’t really know much about flowers.”
“Me, either.” I laughed. “Sad, really, but I couldn’t name half of them for you.”
“So are sunflowers your favorite flower then?”
“Why, of course. What about you?”
“Is it cliché if I say roses?” She blushed. “Red roses are my absolute favorite.”
“They are the flower of love.” I grinned at her.
“No one has ever given me roses before.”
“Not even a boyfriend?” I teased, trying to ignore the slight stirring of jealousy inside.
“Not a one of them,” she laughed. “And I gave them plenty of hints as well.”
“What sort of hints? Maybe they didn’t understand. You know how you girls can be.”
“Hints like, oh, it’s my birthday coming up. I’d love it if someone got me roses.”
“Oh.” I laughed.
“Yeah, exactly. Anyone who was listening should have known I would have loved to have received some roses.”
“Good things come to those who wait.”
“I sure hope so.”
“So,” I asked casually. “Are you dating anyone right now?”
“Is that a joke?” She gave me a weird look.
“No.” I looked away from her. A part of me was wondering why I was going down this road of questions. I didn’t want to go down this road, because I knew where it would end up. It would end up with her asking where we were going, and what did I want, and I didn’t want to answer that. Though I did want to know more about Maddie. What was it about me that attracted her? What guys had she dated before? Did she have a history of choosing bad boys? Was she one of those girls whose goal was to fix her man? I knew I didn’t want to be that guy to her, though I didn’t know exactly what role I wanted to play in her life.
“Well, no, Logan. I’m not dating anyone. I certainly wouldn’t be sleeping with you if I was sleeping with someone else.”
“So, you don’t sleep around?” I knew the words came out wrong. I knew she may interpret my tone as disbelief that she wasn’t easy. Even though that wasn’t what I meant, I really wanted to know if she was interested in anyone else aside from me, but I didn’t want to voice it that way.
“I know it’s hard for you to believe, but no, I am not sleeping around.”
“So there’s no one.”
“There’s no one.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m just a single girl, having some fun.”
“I see.”
“You’re such an idiot.” She pushed me slightly. “I like you, Logan. Don’t you understand that?”
“What?” I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. “You like me?”
“Like that is really news to you.”
“Well, you know,” I laughed, “I’m a guy, I’m a bit slow.”
“Just a bit?”
“You know how it can be sometimes.”
“So what about you?”
“What about me?”
“So do you like me as well?”
“Hmm, that’s a bit of a hard question.”
“Logan Martelli!”
“I think I can say that I like you.” I smiled at her warmly. “I think I can say that I like you quite a lot.” I laughed at the words. If my brothers could see me now, telling a girl I liked her like some pussy.
“A lot, huh?” She grinned back at me. “Even though you were shouting at me just a few hours ago.”
“Well, you were shouting at me as well.”
“Only because you were shouting at me.”
“I’m new to situations like this, Maddie.”
“Have you been in a relationship before?”
“Of course. I’m not a monk.” I laughed at the disappointment in her eyes. “I’m sure you appreciate the benefit of sleeping with a man with experience.”
“I don’t want to think about you sleeping with anyone else.” She wrinkled her nose.
“Just think about me sleeping with you, then.” I pulled her towards me. “Just think about the feel of me as I fill you up and pound you so energetically that you can think of nothing other than the feel of my c**k in you.”
“Logan.” She laughed delicately against me. “Are you trying to turn me on?”
“Did it work?” I winked at her and watched as she licked her lips. I wanted to feel her tongue on me, and I groaned as I realized how turned on I was.
“I’m not going to tell you.” She shook her head and stepped away from me.
“I see the way you are.” I adjusted myself and stifled another groan. “So tell me about your last boyfriend.”
“Are we going to do this now, then?” She looked at me with a question in her eyes, and I wanted to tell her no. I didn’t want to think about her with anyone else. I didn’t want to picture her lips kissing another man’s cheek, her hair trailing along another man’s face, her fingers running through another man’s hair, her eyes adoring another man’s presence.