When You Were Young - Page 105/259

Jackie stares down at the floor. "I don't know," she says.

The other girls laugh at this until Mrs. West yells at them to stop. "That's all right, Jacqueline. I'm sure you'll think of something later. Go take a seat and we'll get started with today's lesson."

There are four tables, each surrounded with girls. Jackie sees a chair with no one in it and goes to sit down. Before she can, a blonde girl snatches the chair away so that Jackie lands on the floor. As she sits there, rubbing her sore bottom, the other girls laugh at her again. "Fat stupid baby," the blonde girl says. "We don't want any fat stupid babies here."

"Children, what is the meaning of this?" Mrs. West asks.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. West. I fell down," Jackie says.

"She can't sit on a chair," the blonde girl says.

"Look, she made a hole in the floor," the dark-haired girl next to her adds. "I can see China."

This causes all the girls to laugh yet again. Jackie starts to cry. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves," Mrs. West says. Jackie's cries turn to violent sobs. She wants Mommy. Why did Mommy have to go? "It's all right, dear. Let's go get you a drink of water." Mrs. West glares at the rest of the class. "When we come back I expect everyone to behave themselves. Is that understood?"

"Yes Mrs. West," the other girls chant.

Mrs. West leads Jackie out into the hallway and dabs at Jackie's eyes with a handkerchief. She turns on the water fountain and helps Jackie lean forward to take a drink, more of the water splashing onto her cheeks than into her mouth. When she finishes drinking, Jackie's sobs have petered out into dry hiccups. "There now, do you feel better?" Jackie nods. "Good. You mustn't cry in front of the other children. When you feel sad, bite down on your lip just a little bit and tell yourself not to cry. Go ahead and try it now."

Jackie bites down on her lip and tries to tell herself not to cry, but her words are muffled. "No, dear, don't say it aloud. Say it silently, like a prayer."

"Oh." Jackie tries again with more success. She stops biting down to ask, "Am I a fat stupid baby?"

"No, dear, of course not. You're big-boned, that's all." Mrs. West puts her arm around Jackie again and leads her back to the classroom. She points to a corner. "Go sit over there with Veronica. And remember what I told you."

Jackie makes a wide arc around the table with the blonde girl and her friends on the way over to the table in the corner. A lone girl sits at the table; at first Jackie thinks the girl is facing the corner until she sees a bit of nose through the veil of black hair. "Hi," Jackie says.