"Colt, I was a lesbian in another life and I've never liked men with the exception of my brother and men who didn't show any interest in me physically."
"And me?" Colt asked.
I nodded my head.
"So you would've looked at me as the enemy?"
"Yes."
A little time went by and I found myself wanting to make up for the obvious disappointment that I had caused him with my answer.
"I've never held a man's hand like this before though. I've never kissed a man before you either."
My cheeks felt hot and I experienced a little regret in supplying such telling information about how I was falling for this man.
"So I'll be your first then? As a man I mean."
My cheeks burning I nodded yes, before framing my admission with, "In some ways."
"What do you mean by that?" He asked inquisitively.
"I don't want to talk about it!" I said with heated passion.
My face felt like it was on fire and I turned away so that I wasn't looking at him.
"Do you think I'll mistreat you or abuse you?"
I turned back to him and further exclaimed, "I don't want to talk about this kind of stuff!"
"Answer the question Kim." Colt said steadily.
In exasperation I said, "I don't know……maybe."
I turned away and surprisingly he was silent, which oddly made me feel bad. I knew he had restraint but I'd just said that he didn't. Once again I felt overwhelmed with the emotion of not wanting to hurt him. Why did I even care about what he thought?
I turned back to him, but I kept my eyes down as I bared my soul to this stranger that I'd fallen through the world with, "Do you want to hear about who I am? What makes me tick?"
"I'd love to!" Colt affirmed.
I looked up to see that his gaze on me reflected truthful honesty. I nodded and began, "Okay then I'll give it to you straight. My mother was a whore that left me and my brother one day with our uncle. That was the last we saw of her. We were with our uncle for a couple of years. It was bad. Really bad! Keko and I ran away one day. We were caught and put in an orphanage and several months later a missionary couple adopted us. Things got really good after that. Keko and I grew up and we left for the big city and the opportunity that it afforded us in the States. Keko was a hard worker, but I'm not, at least I wasn't then. I took an easy way out to pay for college and selfish comforts that I thought I couldn't do without. I made videos. Sex videos with other women and I was involved in a relationship outside of the videos to. The wrongness of it got to me and I got out of that life style and I tried to bury it and put it behind me, but my boss dug it up and held it over my head in order to coerce me into doing illegal things. Illegal actions that cost the jobs of thousands of decent hard-working people."