"How did she hold it over your head?" Colt asked softly.
Tears slipped down my face as the enormity of what was even now happening on the surface came back to me in full vivid relief, "She had evidence of my relationship and the videos that I made while in college and she threatened to send it to my adoptive parents. It got bad though and I turned evidence on her. I gave enough evidence to put us both in jail for a very long time. I planned on going through prosecution, but……"
"But the woman had already sent the package and you were trying to beat it there to explain yourself personally to your adoptive missionary parents." Colt said interjecting softly.
I nodded miserably.
I looked upward at the orange clouds and on an emotional outcry I said, "They're up there and I'm down here! They think I'm dead and all they have to remember me by is a box full of trash that I wish to God had never happened! I've broken their hearts and my brother might be dead all because of what I did!"
Strong arms folded around me and I relaxed into their security and unloaded all my emotions against his chest. He didn't say anything as he held me and I was grateful beyond words for the comfort that he afforded me by just being there.
"I'm sorry." He said deeply.
Drawing back a little I looked up and asked, "You're sorry?"
He nodded, "I wish you'd gotten there to intercept the package."
I cocked my head to the side and said, "If I'd gotten there I wouldn't be here with you now. You'd be okay with that?"
He shrugged, "Disappointment has been the story of my life. A missed life with you, while bad, wouldn't have been the worst that I've suffered through. If you weren't here at least you wouldn't be suffering like you are in helpless anguish over what has transpired above."
I blinked and then blinked again. He cared that much for me?
My gaze fell back to his chest, "When I turned the evidence over I'd reached a point in my life. A desperate point. I called out to God and I did what I knew to do from my childhood. I begged for forgiveness as the plane was going down. Up until that point it was made very clear to me that God was changing my life in ways that I didn't like. Ways that I've done nothing but resist. I've known ever since the plane that it was going to be you and me. I've done everything I can to resist the change and yet I am changing. I do like some aspects of you as a man and I do desire you, which is a miracle. If you still want me then go ahead. I won't resist you."