“God, I would promise you the world, Ari.”
“Please don’t ever let me feel like I felt when you left me today. I never want to feel like that again.”
I gently moved her onto my lap and kissed her. The kiss soon turned passionate, and Ari let a soft moan escape her mouth. I just wanted to lose myself in her.
“Make love to me, Jeff.”
I had to start laughing. “Um, did you forget where we were, baby?”
Ari looked around the hospital room and made a face.
“Fuck a duck.”
Just then the nurse walked and immediately stopped, staring at us.
“What happened? Why are y’all on the floor? Ms. Peterson, why are you on the floor?”
“I’m not on the floor. I’m on my fiancé’s lap.”
“Why are you on his lap on the floor?”
“Can I go home now? Please,” Ari said as she looked at the nurse and gave her a pouty face.
The nurse shook her head as she walked over to us and looked down. I felt like I was in middle school, and we just got caught making out.
“Mr.?”
“Johnson, Jeff Johnson.” I smiled up at the nurse.
She gave me a stern look in return. Yep, this felt just like middle school, especially knowing I didn’t want Ari to get up just yet because of my hard-on. Ari must have been thinking the same thing I was because she took it a step further as she rubbed her ass on me. Turning to face me, she gave me a Cheshire Cat grin. Damn, could I love her anymore?
I leaned over and kissed her. Pulling slightly away from her lips, I smiled.
“I love you.”
Ari giggled. “I love you, too.”
“Alright, let’s go. Let me help you up, Ms. Peterson. Now, take it nice and slow. Once we get you in bed, I will give you your pain pill.”
After we got Ari back into bed, she slid over and patted the bed for me to get in. I started to climb on until I felt a hand on my shoulder pulling me back.
“I don’t think so, Jeff Johnson. If you want your own bed to lie down in, I can probably arrange that for you since I’m starting to lose my patience.”
“Wow, where did you go to nursing school? School of hard knocks?”
“Do you want to stay in here or in the waiting room?” the nurse asked with a straight face.
Jesus, this nurse was in a mood. Smiling at her, I put my hands up in defeat as I walked over to the small-ass sofa to sit down.
“That’s better. Now, Ms. Peterson, is there anything else I can get you besides some pain medicine?”
Ari smiled and shook her head. The nurse gave Ari her medicine, and she swallowed the pill. I watched the nurse help adjust Ari, and then she glanced up at me giving me a dirty look.
“Good night…” I looked at her name tag. “Nurse Maggie Jones. Hey, Jay-Z has a song you might like. It’s called “Hard Knock….”
“Jeff! Let’s allow Ms. Jones to get back to work now. I’m sure she doesn’t care about any songs.” Ari then turned to the nurse. “Thank you so much for your help. I promise, cross my heart.” Ari said, her index finger crossing over her heart, “that I will not get out of bed. She flashed that beautiful smile of hers at Maggie.
Maggie smiled at Ari and then turned and walked over to me. Why does this woman make me feel like I’m about to be sent to the principal’s office?
“I’ve got my eye on you. She needs her rest, and she isn’t going to get it with you making her get on the floor and sit on your lap.”
“Wait a minute, I didn’t.”
“Shhh! I will make you sit in the waiting room all night if you don’t allow her some rest. Do I make myself clear, Mr. Jeff Johnson?”
I looked up at her. “Did you just shush me?”
Ari let out a small laugh before she moaned. Jumping up, I was at her side so fast that Maggie didn’t know what had happened.
“Ari, are you okay?” I stroked the side of her face as I leaned down to kiss her.
“Maggie, please, Jeff is fine. What I’d really like is for us to be left in private, please.”
After another look that surly should have dropped me dead on the spot, Maggie warned me that she would be back in two hours to take Ari’s vitals and I better not be in Ari’s bed.
After she’d left the room, I walked around the bed and crawled in next to Ari.
***
We talked for the next hour about so many things: our future, the horses, more kids. Ari cried a few times, and I tried my best to hold back the tears.
Right before she drifted off into sleep, I whispered in her ear, “I love you, Ari, so much.”
“Just promise me that everything is gonna be okay, Jeff. Please just tell me that it’s all going to be okay.”
“I promise, baby. Everything is going to be better than okay.”
I held Ari in my arms while she slept. I wanted nothing more than to protect her from ever hurting like this again. Tears rolled down my face as I thought about how I was the one who had hurt her, causing her pain yet again. I made a promise to myself right then that I would never hurt her again. I’d die before I’d ever cause her any more pain.
Sleep slowly started to take over my body until a part of me panicked about Maggie walking in.
I finally gave in and closed my eyes.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
ARI
I could feel the pain before anything else. Slowly opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was the morning sun shining in through window. Then, I looked up to see Maggie standing above me.
“Good morning, Ms. Peterson.”
“Ari. Please call me Ari. Ms. Peterson is my mother.”
Maggie laughed and helped me to sit up some.
“I’m about to leave, Ari, but I wanted to give you your breakfast if you thought you could eat something.”
I hadn’t even thought about food until that second. I was starving.
Smiling at her, I was just about to say yes when Jeff came walking in the door with a handful of bags.
“Good morning, baby! I went and bought you some of your favorites,” Jeff started to set it all out on the small table under the TV.
“I got you a cinnamon twist, a chocolate cream-filled donut, an apple fritter…well, I got two of those ‘cause I wanted one, too! Let’s see…I got a ham and cheese croissant sandwich, two sausage kolaches…oh and two cream cheese-filled koloches because I know you love those.”
I loved over at Maggie. She was just staring at Jeff now as he put all the food on the table. I tried not to let out a giggle for fear of my ribs hurting. When Jeff looked up at me and then at Maggie and back at me, the look on his face was priceless. I let out a laugh and did my best not to show how much pain I was in.
Jeff gave me a goofy smile. While he took a bite out of an apple fritter, he winked at Maggie.
“Do me a favor, Jeff Johnson; please don’t ever come back to this hospital again. Please,” Maggie said.
Jeff started to laugh. He walked over to Maggie and gave her a hug.
“Oh, come on, Nurse Hard Knock. You know you love me. You let me sleep in the bed with the love of my life all night.” Then, he shoved the apple fritter in her face.
“You want a bite, Maggie?”
Maggie started to laugh as she pushed his hand away. “No, I do not want a bite of your half-eaten apple fritter.” She pushed Jeff off to the side and smiled at me.
“Good luck with this one, honey. The doctor will be in soon to talk to you, Ari. The next nurse on duty is already starting your discharge papers so we should have you out of here in no time.”
“Thank you for everything, Maggie.” I said with a smile.
Jeff said good-bye to Maggie and walked with her out into the hall. That bastard left all the goods on the table out of my reach, and I was starving. Damn it. I started to slowly get out of bed. When I stood up, I felt a terrible pain in my stomach. I bent over too fast, which caused my ribs to hurt. I cried out in pain. Just at that moment, Jeff came walking back into the room.
He was over by my side so fast that I swore it was just like that scene in Twilight when Edward saves Bella from being crushed by a swerving van. I had to start laughing, which caused me to cry out again. Jesus, if this is what bruised ribs feel like, I pray I never break them.
“Baby, what are you doing? Do you need to use the bathroom or something?”
“No! I need something to eat, and you walked out with Maggie and left me hanging.”
Jeff helped me back onto the bed and then walked over to the table. He reached into the bag and pulled out an orange juice for me. He brought it over with the other apple fritter and a koloche. Then he just sat there, smiling at me.
“What the hell are you smiling at?”
“Were you hungry, baby?”
“Yes, yes, I was. I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday before the…the um...accident.”
I felt the blood literally drain from my face. I had forgotten about it for a whole two minutes. Now, the memories were back, and it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I couldn’t breathe.
Jeff walked over to help me stand up. He gently took me in his arms. “I love you so much.”
Then, the doctor walked in.
“Ms. Peterson, how are you feeling today?”
“Like shit. I still say my ribs are broken,” I said, as I looked over at Jeff.
Dr. Ross glanced over at Jeff.
“Jeff Johnson, Ari’s fiancé,” Jeff said as they shook hands.
“Ari, we’re going to let you head on home. I need you to take it easy for the next twenty four hours. Get lots of rest and be sure to watch for a fever.”
“You are going to go through a range of emotions. Anger, sadness, grieve. You need to allow yourself time to grieve the loss of your child, both of you.” Dr. Ross glanced back over toward Jeff and gave him a slight smile.
He also told us he would like for us to wait two months before we tried for another baby. Jeff squeezed my hand and I felt the tears building in my eyes.
Do. Not. Cry.
Standing up to leave, Dr. Ross shook Jeff’s hand again.
“Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do for y’all. If for any reason you start feeling worse, my personal cell phone number will be on your discharge papers. Or if you just need to talk to someone, I’ve been where you both are. I know what you’re feeling. It will get better.”
I was fighting the tears like there was no tomorrow. Jeff was squeezing my hand so hard that I was pretty sure he was going to break it. I looked down at my hand and back up at him, and he must have noticed it because he immediately loosened his hold.
My whole body started shaking and Jeff moved in closer to me. After the doctor walked out of the room, I lost it. I didn’t think I’d ever cried so hard in my life, and I couldn’t seem to stop. I turned and put my head on Jeff’s chest. My side was killing me, but I didn’t even care.
“I lost our baby, Jeff. Oh my god...I couldn’t even take care of her. I lost our baby…I’m so sorry.”
Jeff held me and just kept repeating over and over, “It’s not your fault, baby. It’s not your fault.”
I continued to cry on his chest.